Oh how I long to write, but the clock ticks on

Miss being able to post on here, some day I'll take it back up again, but for now I have no time. I am choosing to leave the content up here in the hopes that it may help someone even if it is older posts! GS

Wondrous Provision - Take 2

So, don't have a lot of time to write right now, but just want to brag on the Lord again. About a year ago the Lord allowed a car accident that totaled my 92 Civic Si. He then provided us with a 2002 Honda Odyssey through several means (including the settlement from the Civic, a no-interest loan, and the capstone of which was an incredibly generous gift from our church family). A few months ago Michelle's old 92 Corolla (yes, they were both 92's) gave up the fight with a litany of issues including the trans and brake system (for starters). The Lord has once again provided through some wonderful means. First, he allowed us to borrow a vehicle from a dear brother in Christ since then until we picked up our new car. Second, He has given us yet another no-interest loan. Third, we have once again been blessed with a few gifts toward the car. Forth, He provided just the right car through the estate of Michelle's grandfather (took tragedy and brought some good out of it). Finally, He allowed all of the paperwork and details to be worked out and we picked up one of the nicest vehicles I've ever driven! Thus, in the last year, He has just plain-old spoiled us, twice over!

I praise and magnify the Lord for His countless, rich blessings. As I think of and look around the world, Christ spoils us so, so terribly much here in America (with great blessings come great responsibility). We are so amazingly blessed even through material things that in the end, don't matter that much. If our heavenly Father delights in giving us good material gifts, that perish, how much more should we believe Him for the eternal things, the very things that He instructs us to look for?! It is a good reminder and an important spiritual lesson. Jesus, thank you for spoiling us so much, and help us to spoil others in return as that is what pleases you!!!

PS - this is after years and years of having troublesome cars or no car at all. We don't understand His timing, but we know that He is good in the good times and in the bad, which reminds me of one of my fav songs. "As Long As You Are Glorified" by Sovereign Grace Music (http://www.sovereigngracemusic.org/albums/category/sovereign_grace_music/come_weary_saints)

Quick Thought for the Day

When I first started martial arts, I couldn’t wait to get past the basics and get to the “good stuff.” I used to enjoy seeing people’s belt displays and couldn’t wait to get my black belt and have the “complete” belt system. I couldn’t wait to learn what I needed to finish. Since then, I’ve learned there really isn’t anything beyond the basics, you just keep coming back to the same things, the same basics, making them better, and building on them. You put solid basics together and you have growth, but it isn’t anything new, it’s just the basics. At some point along the way I began noticing that many of the people who have a personal belt display don’t have their black belt on it. The reason I found out is that black belt is really just the beginning. Black belt really means that you have learned the basics sufficiently to truly begin the journey of learning the martial arts. It is not the end, the capstone, but rather, the beginning of understanding martial arts. You have never “mastered” or “completed” your training if you are a true martial artist. Thus, you can’t have completed black belt and thus, it is not displayed. The belts on the display represent what it took to learn the basics, to get to the point where you can truly begin learning. Thus, the absence of the black belt is a testimony and reminder that you are still on the journey and that you will never “complete” your training.

So it is in the Spiritual life. So often Christians (especially younger Christians) seek after the fantastic, the amazing, the exciting things. They want to know all the “secret” things, the things that no one else knows. They want to know what the Bible “really” says. And, so often, they chase after these things for the things themselves, believing that these are the mark of maturity and having “arrived.” For example, they go to sections that speak of the end times / apocalypse, or read something like the Da Vinci Code that claims to give “hidden meaning” and so on. Or they think, I need to read the whole Bible and then I’ll have mastered it or know all I need to or I need to read or pray like so and so and then I’ll have arrived. Then, they start walking in the Christian life pursuing those things (totally missing the mark, btw) and they get frustrated because they haven’t “arrived” yet. What they (we) often miss, is that just like in the example of the belt system above, we are on a journey where we are seeking to become more like Christ. The things that we do are the basics, such as praying, reading, trusting the Lord, delighting in Him above all else and putting Him first, etc. These are the basic things that we need to learn. So often we speak, talk, or live as if we need to get past these things to be “mature.” Yet, as in the example above, these are the things that we are constantly having to “re-learn” and that we keep coming back to time and time again. The thing is, that truly is the journey and those are the basics, that’s where growth is. It’s not in anything secret or fancy, just in the basics and building from there. As long as we’re on this earth, we will never “arrive” in that sense. The very notion of “arriving” is as nonsensical as thinking that earning a black belt means you have “finished” in the martial arts.

Wondrous Provision

I can’t take a lot of time to write right now… too much going on. But, I do want to give the Lord the praise He is due for providing us with a “new” vehicle. In a recent post I referred to the accident and asked many of you to be in prayer for us, that the Lord would provide for us. I referenced the fact that we would not be able to purchase anything without the Lord’s provision and that we were simply waiting in faith for the Lord to move. Too often in life, we ask for things (with more or less pure motives), but how often do we really stop and thank the Lord? How appropriate in this season, the week before Thanksgiving?! I believe in asking the Lord very honestly for what we need (and He already knows), but I also believe in praising and thanking Him!

That is precisely the purpose in this note. I want to not only thank Him for providing us with another vehicle, but for showing off and providing something MUCH greater than we imagined. We were able to find a 2002 Honda Odyssey EX with 113,000 on it. The Lord has provided in several ways beyond just showing us the van. We got a lot more back on my car than I thought we would (the beauty of it having been an Si). Two of our friends gave us a generous gift and then we were able to get a loan for the amount we were still lacking.

It’s pretty dirty b/c an old man who apparently loved to go everywhere with his dog owned it, but that is just a little cleaning job. It seems to be in pretty good shape mechanically and very good shape otherwise. It also just had a major tune-up done, so it really shouldn’t need much maintenance initially. There is a sound in the engine that is not “normal” but the mechanic said it isn’t anything to be concerned about. He will be giving it a thorough exam this coming week and hopefully taking care of anything that does need to be handled.

I do still have one prayer request though… well, two. First, as I said above, we did end up having to get a loan for a few thousand. So, I would ask you to continue in your prayers for financial provision, we really need it right now. Second, that the vehicle would last a LONG time! Below are some pictures:

A Poem: Make Me Worthy of Your Calling

It's been a while since I've written anything creative and even longer since I've written a poem. I don't claim this one is great, but it is straight from the heart. It is similar to another post I wrote some time ago (http://a-hawk.blogspot.com/2009_05_01_archive.html), though there are some differences as well... funny how we go in cycles sometimes. This is why scripture reminds us to remember!









Make me worthy of your calling oh Lord; make my paths straight and my heart true!
For I know myself well, the poison within; yet like water I drink, not noting the end.

Search my whole heart, and know me my Lord; reveal to me, what you have abhorred.
That I might break and you might build, Christ in me, wholly filled.

Guide all my steps into that place, where I depend upon your grace.
Let me not wander or go off course, but let me remain in you my source.

Keep me dear Lord within your will, a servant true and faithful still.
That in the end it might be known, that honor to you I have shown!





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Just in case you can't follow my cadence, I'll post the poem again with the numbered cadence... sometimes I make sense to myself, but not to others ;)

Make me worthy of your calling oh Lord (10), make my paths straight and my heart true! (8)
For I know myself well (6), the poison within (5); yet like water I drink (6), not noting the end (5).

Search my whole heart (4) and know me my Lord (5), reveal to me (4) what you have abhorred (5)
That I might break (4) and you might build (4), Christ in me (3), wholly filled (3)

Guide all my steps into that place (8), where I depend upon your grace (8)
Let me not wander or go off course (9), but let me remain in you my source (9)

Keep me dear Lord within your will (8), a servant true and faithful still (8)
That in the end it might be known (8), that honor to you I have shown (8)

An Interesting Day – An Electrical Job, A Totaled Car, A Few Errands, and a Faithful God

So, as is often the case when “major” events happen in my life, I am taking the opportunity to reflect on the situation and to write about it. Today was a great day, I really enjoyed the day and love being in the will of God and seeing Him work… even when I don’t understand it.

I started the day slowly as I’ve been sick lately and am on day 7 of antibiotics. I’m feeling a lot better than I have, but not 100%. So, I was scheduled to go to one of our pastor’s house to help with doing electrical in his basement. I started later than intended, but still got over there early-ish in the morning. On my way there, I visited a friend at work that was helping me with something and then headed to the pastor’s house. After spending the day there, I was finally finished and headed home. I planned on going home, working on a project, then meeting another friend to help with a vehicle logistics problem (driving a car :), and then he was to help me bring our harp back from the church. So, I headed home driving down Bardstown road away from the pastor’s house (I’m guessing somewhere around 5 pm). This road is a 5-lane road, with a turn lane in the middle, meaning the North bound side I was on is two lanes of North bound traffic. I went through a light and on the other side, there was the usual blockade of people in the right lane essentially at a standstill. The left lane however was clear for about a ¼ mile, as it usually is around this area (at that time of day). I slowed down because the left lane was only clear for a little bit and the right was stopped. As I drove past the first section of the blockade, I went “on guard” as I normally do, waiting for someone to try to shoot / shift lanes from the right lane into the left. The next thing I know, I’m seeing slow-motion. I hear the bang of metal crunching against metal just a split-second before I can actually see the car that just pulled out in front of me, followed by the jerk of my car stopping “on a dime” (well, on / at a Ford Focus to be specific), and THEN the airbag hits me in the chin. I wanted to punch the thing (unfortunately, it was already flat :). I’m assuming it was compensating for the low-speed impact, but it actually hit me a split-second AFTER the collision, right about the time I was starting to “self-right” in my seat. I actually had a split second to think to myself, “hey, my airbag didn’t go…” BANG!

So, what happened? Well, I was passing a Waffle House (on my right) and there was a teenage girl that apparently wanted to make a left (from the Waffle House lot toward the South) A waffle house employee told her she should have used the other exit, the one with the light!. Apparently she had wedged between two cars that were stopped in the right lane and decided to “gun it” toward the “safety” of the turn lane. I guess she thought it was clear, but she was quite wrong. I’m sure she wasn’t able to see me, but that’s just why you NEVER try that maneuver, especially in such heavy traffic. Even if she had made it past me / my lane, the turn lane in that spot is NOT safe, and the cars in the South bound lanes were stacked up like sardines anyway. It’s no surprise that I later found out the girl has only been driving since either July or January (the mom was a little flustered and settled on January). Immediately after the accident, I checked myself to see if I was still intact (though I was fairly sure I was since I was thinking about decking the airbag -which, for those of you that don’t know my sense of humor, that simply means I’m annoyed with something, not that I actually want or intend to deck something… although, it hit me first, and there I go again ;). After that, I looked up to see where the impact was on the other car (and thus, what to expect in terms of injury to the driver), just in time to see a teenage girl having a nervous break-down. She looked extremely young and was just freaking out. I motioned to see if she was ok and she nodded (and the same for the friend that was with her). Thankfully, my car struck right around the driver’s front tire / wheel and not the door. I took another second to just take stock of everything and then looked for my cell phone. When I found it, I began to motion to see if she had already called the police… she hadn’t… she was on the phone with mom and dad. So, I called and was informed that someone had reported it and the police would be there as soon as possible. I was quite impressed at the large number of people that stopped to be witnesses and to be great citizens and see if we were OK… a grand total of ZERO! Thank you Kentucky drivers! Ok, rant over. Anyway, there were a few people that tried to help who were going the other way (Southbound). They asked if we were ok and one of them tried to tell me the nearest intersection so I could tell whoever I was on the phone with (I lost track as I felt like I was a dispatcher with all the people calling me, and that I had to call).

To make a long story short, I spent the next hour or so reassuring a very scared girl that the world would not end and that everyone makes mistakes and so on. I also had to verbally coerce the girls away from the cars (which were still in the middle of the road) and into the grass so that we were out of the road and not killed by someone that wasn’t paying attention. I think they were so flustered and scared they just couldn’t process what I was saying for a minute. When her parents came I introduced myself to them and the mother was very kind, even offering to let me sit in their car where it was warm (I was still in my work shorts and t-shirt). We made small talk for a minute and then the police showed up (Fire rescue showed up earlier to make sure we were all ok and to clean up the mess from my bleeding car).

The damage: My Civic, totaled. Ford Focus, might be able to be repaired. The girl’s left front axle was broken for sure, but there was little visible body damage. I’m not sure what might have been damaged in the engine compartment. Beyond that, their car was A-OK. Mine on the other hand, is worth nearly nothing according to the Blue-book (despite being a collector’s car… Black 92 Civic Si, for those that know). The airbag alone I think costs more than the car, but beside that, the entire front end is crumpled up against the fire-wall with all of the cooling and AC system mangled beyond repair (and likely many other things). The dern thing still ran and drove though… well, at least to the parking lot of the Waffle House about 20 feet away. Damage to me: Small cut / scrape on right knee, small cut on left knee (left will probably bruise a little), sore collar bone (seatbelt) and peck muscle, a slight burn on the neck from the seatbelt, and a scrape or burn on my right wrist from (I don’t know?, poss airbag vent). Damage to the girls: nothing they were aware of at the time (except emotional :). After everything was taken care of (paperwork, cars towed, etc), Ben Farrar picked me up and I was able to help as planned by driving one of their vehicles to their house. After that, we went and picked up the harp and brought it home. Thanks Ben, for picking me up and for getting the harp.

So, now to take stock. Girls = totaled cars. OK, OK, I’m joking! On a serious note, I’m just so thankful that no one was hurt. I’m SO thankful that my car struck the front wheel and not the driver’s door and not the rear end (hurt the girls or spin the car). I’m also SO thankful that her car was in front of mine because it probably would have shoved me into any on-coming cars that were still moving (head-on) and / or into another vehicle on the side. I’m thankful that I was going slower than the speed limit as it would have been much worse. I’m thankful that if it had to happen, it happened to me. Why, because I’m not a jerk and the girl made an honest mistake and I’m afraid of what some would have done / how they would have treated her. I do hope that she learns from this, don’t get me wrong. She needs to learn from it. However, someone acting like a jerk or trying to sue or whatever is not going to teach her anything. I hope that she learns from it and then is able to let it go. Finally, it gave me an opportunity to show Christ’s love and to demonstrate a faithful heart and mind. What I mean is that you can always tell who a person really is when trouble comes or bad things happen. Because of Christ’s love and grace in my life, I was able to demonstrate how a Christian ought to act in a situation like this and I was able to do it in sincerity.

Finally, I have been and will be able to demonstrate faith in Christ in and through this situation. What do I mean? Well, there are two sides to this story. The first, the human side, is that I won’t be able to buy a decent vehicle with whatever the insurance company gives me. It will be a start, but it won’t be enough for a vehicle that ran like that one… it was a gem. This is compounded with the move, much less commuting opposite directions once there. The bottom line is that there is no way humanly speaking. You may ask why I’m happy about this or why I consider the day to be good in light of this? Well, I’m not saying I like being in this position, I don’t like not being able to provide or not being able to go out and get a vehicle. So why do I consider it a good day? Precisely because of the second side of the story! The thing is, it is in these situations, no matter how mundane it may be (or how huge it might seem), we get to see Christ work!!! We get to watch Him moving and working and providing in any number of ways! Sometimes He just drops something in our laps and sometimes He uses our current or natural circumstances. Other times He gives His people a desire to help, each as they are able and when combined they are able to accomplish much more (Ex 36:6). Still other times, it is in some way that we hadn’t even considered!

If we will stop long enough, if we will take a breath and observe, if we will listen for a second, we will hear the heartbeat and see the hands of our Savior!!!!!!! He is not merely concerned with our soul (though that is certainly enough), no, He is also VERY concerned about our lives. Our Heavenly Father knows what we need and takes great delight in providing for us (Matt 6:25-34; Luke 12:22-31). He also delights in helping us grow in faith and learn that we can trust in Him for things both big and small. I don’t know about you, but I get excited when God begins to work! I get excited knowing that He is doing all things for our good and that His plans are always good and perfect and always infinitely better than we could ever ask or imagine!!! THIS is how I can say it was a good day. I will do all that I can, don’t get me wrong. But, when I’ve done everything that is in my power (and that I ought to do), I will have the honor and pleasure of resting in Him and watching my savior work this out for His glory and my betterment! I don’t know how and I don’t know when, but I know that He will provide. He may take us through a period of trial, we may struggle with this for a little while, but if so, I know that we will Glorify Him in the way we act, talk, and think. He may choose to pour out blessings upon us immediately and provide exactly what we need right away. I have to be honest as a human and say that I hope it is the latter, but I’m genuinely ok with the first. God has provided so MANY good things and I don’t deserve ANY of them. So, in the perspective, what is this by comparison?! It is as nothing!

Now, having discussed the ethereal, I want to go back to the earthly for a moment. I simply want to ask you to join me in prayer. Please pray that the Lord will be glorified in all of this. Please pray for the girl and her family. I pray that if they don’t know Christ, they will come to know Him. I also pray that she will learn from this; that she will only feel sorrow long enough to learn from this and I hope it points her to Christ. We are taught many things about prayer and one of those is that we are taught to ask for what we need and desire and that the Lord will provide according to His will. I am therefore praying that the Lord would provide enough for a solid vehicle that will last and serve us well as we seek to serve Christ! Finally, I am praying that when we are able, the Lord will provide just the right vehicle (perhaps even a mini-van… for the harp and tools)!

Antibiotics and Flesh-eating Bugs

I posted this on Facebook the other day as a status (first line was status and the rest was in the comment section) and decided I'd share it here, since I think it gets the point across pretty well. Big changes are coming for me again and hope to update soon, though I realize it has been so long, no one probably reads this blog anymore ;)


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how do you go from antibiotics to anti-bio-tics, little things that eat you from the inside out?

antibiotics.... by doing a study on this word, you can clearly see how the real meaning of the word is to take life. It is a compound word meaning to be against, oppose (opposite) or destroy (anti) and of or pertaining to life (biotic-s). Thus, it means to be opposed to, or to take life. So, when a doctor says he is going to give you antibiotics, he is trying to kill you. This is further demonstrated by the suffix "tics" which we all know are blood-sucking parasites that bring disease and take blood (life). Essentially, they are giving you tick-larvae that will eat you from the inside out and kill you.

Now, if you don’t like the logic I used here or the root-word fallacy (among others), read your commentaries, study bibles, devotional materials, etc, and listen to those that teach you a little more carefully… otherwise, you end up with anti-bio-tics in your brain!!!
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now, to provide a little context, my point here is to ILLUSTRATE bad hermeneutics (biblical interpretation, or interpretation in general for that matter) and some horridly bad logic. It is intended to be a short little zinger to the way so many mistakenly study, teach, and preach the Scriptures (or anything for that matter). If you listen carefully (or just 1/2 way), you'll be amazed how how bad most of the teaching out there is and how most of it is not founded on solid logic / logical grounds and so often has nothing to back it up, other than the fact that the person in front of you is saying it!