Jul 14, 2007

Times of Transition

Well, I have about a week left of work and about a week after that of being home. My last day at work (this time :) will be this coming Friday. After that, I will take the next week to do many of the things that I’ve been intending to do, but haven’t had the time (visit friends, take some Charleston pictures, get my passport – yay!, do some reading and writing, etc).

Times of transition are always bittersweet for me. I love people and places and always feel torn when it is time to leave one place and go to another. I have had “double residency” since 2001 and routinely have to leave one life, to temporarily pick up another, only to return later. I desire to stay here, be with family, discover this new church, and continue working at a job I love and for a boss that I love (and of course, make decent money); yet, at the same time, I desire to be back in school, with my friends, and with my church family.

Now, I must here clarify, I do realize that I am in a blessed position. I do not say that I have to leave where I desire to stay, in order to go where I do not wish to go (or the inverse). No, quite the contrary; I am so blessed by Christ, that I constantly GET to go from one blessing to the other. I am truly so blessed that I’m torn between blessings.

Though I realize my torn feeling is the result of being too blessed, I truly look forward to the day when I am no longer torn between two goods, but have one good. The good I am referring to is a family and one place in which to minister. Now sure, I realize that my ministry will probably change from time to time, and I sincerely look forward to that as well, but, here, I am talking about looking forward to the day when my family, my ministry, and my source of income are no longer many hours and many miles apart. A time wherein I can be involved in my ministry and come home to family instead of an empty apartment and wherein I can have both family and friends, and not have to choose between them. Now, please don’t misunderstand me, I love my life and am quite confident that I am in the Lord’s will. He is continually teaching me contentment and I believe that I am learning this lesson (note the on-going present tense). However, contentment doesn’t necessarily mean that we don’t look forward to better days.

Even in this longing, the Spirit testifies to a deeper, and far greater, longing. I sincerely look forward to that day. That day, wherein we are no longer “double residents,” being in the flesh residents of earth, and in the Spirit, residents of Christ’s Kingdom. I look forward, with great eagerness, to that day, wherein I no longer feel torn, desiring to be with Christ, yet needing to be fruitful for my savior (Phil 1.22-24). I deeply and sincerely long for that day, when my heart is no longer breaking and torn apart over those that reject Christ; when I no longer bear the burden of the lost, but only rejoice in and with the redeemed!!! My heart cries out, desiring that day, when I no longer have to say, “come Lord Jesus, yet tarry a little while longer!”

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