A Short Devotion

Living the Christian life is perplexing sometimes, and so is zeal for the Lord. Scripture teaches us that the Spirit is like the wind, it blows where it will (John 3:8). We cannot make it blow one direction or the other, nor can we generate the wind at any point. Further, we cannot determine whether it will be a whisper, a gale-force storm, or nothing at all. We are completely dependent upon God to send His Holy Spirit according to his purposes, for His glory. Living and moving in the spirit is like being a sail-boat in the midst of a great ocean. We are dependent upon the wind for movement. We cannot generate our own wind and we could never row long enough to get to safety. We can try all we want, but we will tire and fail if we attempt it. Instead, we must learn to move with the wind, to ride the current. This means being prepared for the wind’s movement and being committed to move the way the wind moves, to go left when the wind goes left and right when the wind goes right. We must let it guide us in the ebb and flow of life, gently caressing and comforting us while moving us swiftly along the ordained path.

Our job, our responsibility, is to prepare for the moving of the Spirit… the end. God’s prerogative, right, and decision is to move according to his purposes and will. Through the disciplines, such as prayer and Bible reading, we prepare ourselves for the movement of the Spirit just like a ship’s sails being properly in place, prepare it for the wind. Yet, as with a ship, having sails up in the air does not mean we will be able to move, it simply means that we are prepared to move when the wind blows and in the manner the wind wills.

There are many spectrums in the spiritual life and this is no exception. At one end of the spectrum is being slack in the disciplines. Slack disciplines are like slack sails, they spill the wind and handle it poorly, causing the ship to move poorly or erratically. When we are slack in the disciplines, we are unable to move with the full power of the Spirit. Though the Lord is willing to move us and sends His Spirit, we are poor vessels, leaking and spilling the precious gift of the Spirit and failing to move in the power thereof. We become erratic and disheartened. Sometimes we even begin to wonder if the wind is insufficient to move us, but in truth it is we who are insufficient. In those times we should recognize it is our insufficiency causing the problem. Yet, at the same time, we need to remember that Christ is made perfect in our weakness (2 Cor 12:9). It is not that Christ is weak, not at all. Instead, it is that His strength is demonstrated most perfectly when we are at our weakest, when we acknowledge our weakness. It is when we are in a posture or position of being totally submitted, totally open and naked before our creator, that he is able to demonstrate His strength in amazing and perfect ways. It is then that He can pick us up in the warmth of His strong arms, holding us close to His bosom, quieting us long enough to listen to the beat of His heart.

At the other end of the spectrum is holding the sails too tightly. When the wind does blow, we are to hold the sails, but if we hold them too tightly we might believe ourselves to be the master of them, foolishly thinking we can go where we will. If the sails are held too tightly, the wind will push against the sails with tremendous force. If the sails continue to be held too tightly, then you end up in a tugging match with the wind vs you. You will not win! In the same way, if we try to use the disciplines to gain favor with God or to earn His approval, we totally miss the point. If we approach them as if they are a means to get where we want to go, we will end up going no where and even find ourselves opposing the Lord. The disciplines must be used in the way they were designed. They were designed to help us grasp the movement of the Spirit, not control it; we cannot control the wind, nor can we decide our own destination. Remember the disciplines do not make us holy; Christ’s atoning blood has already accomplished that on our behalves. Instead of trying to earn your own holiness (as if that were even possible), you must use the disciplines as tools to learn the way the Spirit moves and then set your sails accordingly.

If the wind is blowing toward the west (from the east, toward the west), you will not get anywhere setting the sails toward the east, or if you do, you’ll only end up going the opposite direction you wish to go. Further, if you stubbornly and rebelliously decide on your own course and face against the wind (toward the north or south), you will have a very hard time keeping the boat from capsizing and will eventually tire out, ruin the boat, or both. A ship in the midst of a storm must use the wind to move and be carried by it where it will, it cannot survive taking the wind broad-side. If we put up our sails the wrong way, we will likely break our mast, rip our sails, or capsize the boat. Thus, when our devotionals are on the wrong things (such as worshipping TV or the latest Christian author - ouch), we are facing the wrong way (to one degree or the other). Further, if we simply refuse to put up the sails (not doing any devotionals), we won’t move at all, but will only bob to and fro, tossed about and destined for destruction.

Yet if we do put up the sails, even if we put up the correct sails in the correct manner, we still cannot believe that this will guarantee movement, we must still wait upon the wind for movement. If performing the disciplines by themselves guaranteed movement, then we would be source of movement, providing our own salvation. God did not create us as motorboats and we cannot save ourselves. Instead, He created us as sailboats, completely dependent upon Him for all, and in all. God desires for us to grow in a deep, intimate relationship with Him. It is only when we are willing to completely submit ourselves to Him, standing naked before Him without pretense, qualification, or ideals of earning our own salvation that we are in the correct posture to be fully moved by the Spirit.

When you pray, how do you pray? What is your posture? Are you commanding the Spirit? Are you begging in disbelief, hoping somehow to get God do to your bidding? Are you praying as a means to gain favor? My friends, prayer is about posture. It’s about saying, here am I Lord! Prayer is about Christ’s kingdom and beseeching the Father to make us what He desires therein. It’s about sitting in the midst of a vast, endless ocean, totally unarmed and helpless, with sails drawn, waiting patiently and properly for the moving of His Spirit. My brother, my sister, this is freedom in Christ. If the Son has set you free, then you are free indeed!


Read Psalm 23 in a paraphrase version and pay attention to the sense of meaning it brings out as compared to a more literal version.

(note: I am usually the one telling people to avoid paraphrase versions... this time I thought it fitting :)







• List the ways you are waiting on the Lord (the key here is passive, like putting sails up and getting them ready for the wind to blow whenever it comes)



• List the things that you are powerless to do (like create the wind or determine the direction it will blow in)



• Find scriptural promises where God has already fulfilled the means to the things listed above. He has already provided, so list how he has already promised to do so.


Take a break from sin! Don’t focus on it or think about it this week. Do I have your attention? Good. Now, I’m not saying that you should use this as an excuse for sin or that you should ignore sin, not at all. Instead, I am saying not to let the accuser of the brethren, Satan, tell you how bad you are this week. This week, work on confessing your sin with an earnest heart and leaving it there. All too often, even after you have sought forgiveness and confessed your sins, even in the midst of a prayer of repentance he loves to come along and tell you that you aren’t praying right, that you aren’t doing what you should, that you didn’t get the formula right (ouch), and that the prayer is thus invalid. Listening to these types of lies just buries you further in a pit of despair for which there is no way out. Christ’s life, death, and resurrection paid the price that we could not pay, delivering us out of this very trap. Do not let the evil one trick you into thinking you are still there, this week is about freedom! Do not let that old devil twist what should be a devotional relationship with our Lord, an intimate communion, into another way to point out our failure. Instead, confess your sins to Christ and ignore the devil. That’s right, ignore him, block him out, rebuke him in the name of Jesus Christ.

1 John 1:9 says “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” You see, “doing” and “not doing” are not the point. Christ has promised his children forgiveness when they ask, so confess your sins and think of how Christ bore your sin on Calvary, taking it upon himself. Let him take it for a week and don’t let it enter your mind. If you find yourself thinking of sin, write it below and next to that, describe what the Bible says about that accusation (Psalm 103:12 would be a great place to start).

The Pornification of a Culture - shared article from www.AlbertMohler.com

Hey guys, I am still here and hope to start writing again soon, though I have said that a bunch of times by now. I'm not one to share other blog writer's things very often, and especially not from the leadership of Southern Seminary. It's not because I don't often find myself in agreement with them or that I dislike them. Quite frankly, there is just enough of a rebellious nature in me, that I don't want to be associated with or viewed as one of those students who blindly follow the mob of mindless theology students hanging on every word of the worshipped professor-of-choice. I have a brain of my own and I am quite capable of thought. Herein I’m revealing how messed up I am and if I were to counsel myself (which I try to do very often) I would tell myself that my identity is in Christ and not in the thoughts of others. It is true, my focus is off in this. My instant reaction is to simply not say the above, and yet that is covering of sin and a denial of striving to live transparently before men that sanctification may have its full effect. This also reveals my pride, that I want credit for my thoughts as distinct from those of others. Man, I am truly a messed up sinner apart from Christ! The truth here though (again, if I were to counsel myself) is that there is no such thing as an original thought. No matter how intelligent you are, you are (I am) an idiot, totally dependent upon those who came before me. Even the most brilliant people that have ever arisen, have done so on the backs of those they may have looked down upon, had they met them in person. Even the use of the English language and thought-pattern comes from someone, somewhere, that was much smarter than me… a lot of them. To take it even a step further, and to the ultimate truth, it is ALL dependent upon the continued, sustaining work of Christ, who is God and at the same time God’s son, one person of the Trinity. Our knowledge and ability are a mere shadow of what was given to us, much less what is. To say this seems to indicate some level of understanding on the subject and yet, to One who truly understands, it is complete darkness. Ok, anyway, my rant is over for the moment… can you tell I’m eager to begin writing again :). I’m sharing this one for two reasons. First, because I’m shocked and appalled, and yet not at all, by the subject matter and I believe it is extremely important. I'm not shocked at pornography mind you, those of you who know me or have read my other posts know that I have seen the devastation of pornography in my own family. Instead, my shock is at how publicly acceptable it is, under such a ridiculous guise, and especially at the point of the public library.Second, because I haven’t written in a while and it’s easy since I don’t have the time at the moment to do my own writing.


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Check out the link below:

http://www.albertmohler.com/blog_read.php?id=3348

Fire in Our Backyard

hey guys, just a quick one right now.

I’ve heard being a chiropractor is a hot business, but this is ridiculous! Ok, ok, I’m bad, I know. There was a very bad fire here last night / this morning and these are some pics after it was somewhat under control.

At about 7 or 7:30, someone rang our doorbell. I am an insanely hard sleeper, unless something weird happens, then I'm up like a shot. I checked out the window and couldn't see anyone. I checked the peep-hole and still nothing, checked the kitchen window, still nothing. My mind immediately thought it may be a home invasion or some other lunatic thing like that and they were using the front door as a distraction while preparing to come in the back (I know, I’m weird). Right about the time I was going to give up and go back to bed, I noticed headlights parking in front of our apt. I looked out the kitchen window again and noticed the reflection of a HUGE fire. I figured it must be the duplex next door and told Michelle. Right about that time, we noticed the fire behind us and it turned out to be the Chiropractor’s office behind our apt… the one RIGHT next to the gas station!!!

We forget how many times the Lord protects us... our every breath is only by His declaration and grace! May we never have to endure a fire and lose all that we hold dear, but if that should come, may we stay continually depend upon Him… it truly is all chaff anyway!

To view all the pictures (totally raw and unedited) go HERE


To view my favs / "the best" (hand-picked and occasionally cropped for effect), go HERE

Life for the Depressed

Wow, a little over a year ago I lost every poem I’ve ever written. I was no flaming professional or anything, but I did have a few things in some minor publications (I can’t remember where now :); I used to write a LOT of poetry and even wrote a short story once. Anyway, I’m packing right now and ran across a copy of one of my old poems. Actually, it was the very first poem I ever wrote. I was in the seventh grade at the time and will provide a little background below.

Some of you are not aware of my past/ rough childhood. Christ has been very faithful to bring healing to my life, but my younger years were not easy to say the least (as I’ve referenced before, I can only share “so much” here in public because it involves other people, so we’ll leave it at that for now). During those years, I was quite depressed and alone, humanly speaking. I contemplated suicide fairly often during that period, but I could never do it. Not because I was scared, I’m too bold / brazen for that. No, it was not fear that kept me from ending my life, instead it’s an amazing testimony to the love and grace of Christ Jesus that kept me from killing myself then and continues to sustain me today.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the time right now to do this story justice (I’m supposed to be packing my apt so I can move tomorrow and I’m WAY behind schedule). For now, I will simply say that even in the depths of my depression, I always had the feeling that I would let someone down if I did it. At the time, I confidently “knew” that there was not a single human being in the entire world that cared about me at all. I am not exaggerating, I didn’t believe that my own mom cared at the time (the devil is deathly crafty and tells some convincing lies) and the goal of every single day was to simply try to avoid as much berating and abuse as possible, so that I could get up and do it again the next day (no wonder I love the book of Ecclesiastes). All was vanity and loss, yet as a saved person (yes, I was saved at the time… so let your theology cringe in fear), I knew that Christ loved me. I didn’t understand it at a conscious level (in other words I would have denied it at the time), but “deep down” I knew… I couldn’t run from it and it was literally THE only reason I didn’t follow through. It was just the sense that I would be letting someone down despite hours, days, weeks, and even months of pondering “who” and not coming up with a single answer. Anyway, I need to get back to packing, but WOW, what a reflection on the grace, love, and awe-inspiring power of Christ! Thank you Lord!!!


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Life for the Depressed©
By: Aaron Hawk

Is my life meaningless?
Is my life lifeless?
Why was I born,
to soak up the morn?
Why is it that in everything I do,
a problem just rises anew?
Should I open up and cry,
or should I allow myself to die?
Should I kill myself,
or continue to live in stealth?
Whether I choose to live in stealth,
kill myself,
or die,
it shall be done while I cry…
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For anyone who may read this and wonder if anyone cares… someone does. Christ cares, and wants to enter into a relationship with you. If you are reading this and are at all intrigued, that alone is proof that Christ is “speaking to your heart.” If you do not have a relationship with Christ, there is guaranteed hope, if you ask Him, Christ will bring you into his family and you will inherit all of the blessings that come with being part of His family (watch the video below and or check out the other links if you want to know how). If you are already part of Christ’s family and struggling, run to your Father in heaven and speak to a faithful minister of the Gospel of Christ! If you do not know one, email me (info below) and I will speak with you and try to find someone in your area. My friend, there is hope, and despite all of the lies that the evil one wants to sell you, you are loved (very deeply) and of great value in Christ! The only warning to give you is that Christ is the only way; He is the only hope… there is no other. The blessing is that if you are feeling prompted by this, He is ready and waiting right now!!!




Email me at Godsservant3” att hotmail dott comm and put “Question about Jesus” in the subject line.






My Church, Ninth and O (woot)

A Church website that seems sound

A fantastic and sincere presentation of the Gospel:

A Quick Rant on Gardasil

Well, once again, what was intended to be about a sentence or so that didn’t fit in my Facebook status ended up being an intended short paragraph, which in turn, led to the note below. Also, understand that this was written quickly because I am supposed to be studying Greek at the moment, so there is probably some repetition and there are probably other assorted errors, these are just my usual scattered thoughts. Finally before I begin, I know it’s been forever and I do still want desperately to write on so many things (including the REALLY long-awaited series). Sorry folks, just still more snowed under than I know how to dig out of right now.

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I am simply amazed with Gardasil. Merck has employed one of the greatest (and most underhanded) marketing strategies in recent history. If you watch one of the advertisements or read some of the literature, they have young, beautiful girls telling you how they don’t want their lives destroyed by cervical cancer and how this is the answer to that problem b/c they are now protected and won’t die. This is a good thing, I mean, cervical cancer is NASTY (to say the least) and who wants this beautiful, young, energetic, sincere, innocent young girl to die. Of course, I mean, hey, they found a vaccine that prevents her from getting it. I wouldn’t want my daughter to have to face that… seems pretty simple, right?!

Well folks, I am always amazed at marketing and advertising and how insanely deceptive they are. The whole idea of drug companies marketing to the consumer is preposterous and the subject of a much longer rant at some point, but for now let me simply say… the drugs should be marketed to the doctors, not the patient!!!! Folks, medicine is VERY, VERY complicated. Let me say it again, medicine is VERY, VERY complicated!!! People devote their lives to understanding the science behind the human body and the science of helping prolong death (which is the purpose of medicine btw). They are the specialist. However, the drug companies have figured out that if they tell the consumer to tell the doctor what they need, they sell more drugs. It’s really that simple. How is it possible for you the consumer, to know more than the specialist you are going to see?! Does a student set the course material for the teacher? No, the teacher sets the material according to the student (if indeed he is a good teacher). I have been teaching martial arts for 12 years now and students do not tell me what they need. I am the specialist and I will use the best methods I am aware of to teach the student according to his or her abilities. This is the educational method, it works, it is common sense. The students that do come to me, telling me how to do “A,” “B,” or “C” are the ones that don’t make it, at least until they figure out I do indeed know my specialty better than they do. Medicine is the same, but even more so. It’s bad enough that drug companies pay doctors to prescribe their medicines, that sways good medicine far enough, but now, a smiling, pretty face on the tv screen is telling consumers they understand their own needs and medicine better than their doctors. Wow, what a system!!! Ok, well, I ranted a little longer on that rabbit trail than I intended to (I know, I know, what else is new).

Back to the point… what is my problem with Gardasil? Well, it’s not a problem with the medicine itself. All the research* indicates that the medicine will in fact prevent certain types of cervical cancer, but the issue is what they are not telling you. What does this “miracle drug” do? Well, what it actually vaccinates against is most HPV (Human PapillomaVirus) infections. So, from there, they go on and on telling you how bad HPV is and how many people it affects and they really make it out to be something analogous to getting pneumonia or something. Yes, they are both bad and yes, they need to be treated. However, there is a HUGE deception in this type of marketing and even in the very definitions given by “neutral” sources such as Wikipedia. They go on forever describing how “bad” cervical cancer is and how bad HPV is, but they are deceiving the public en masse. What they are trying desperately to avoid saying is that HPV is a sexually transmitted disease (STD). We live in such an “under the rug” society, that our very dictionaries are refusing to be blunt and honest, but instead use alternate wording so that people will not be confronted with the hard truth, their sin. We are a deceived nation.

You have virtually no chance of getting this disease outside of living a morally loose lifestyle. Yes, you can technically get this through some other means, but guys, the statistical probability (scientific probability) is nearly zero, which, any good statistics student will tell you, is mathematically the same as none (ie: it’s possible, but get real). Thus, the function of Gardacil is to prevent the consequences of a sexually promiscuous lifestyle. It does not prevent cancer, it prevents HPV, which in turn can cause cervical cancer. So, they are presupposing a morally corrupt lifestyle in which the person is messing around enough to contract HPV (which for some is once and for others is closer to a lifetime) and that HPV will cause cervical cancer. You take any of those things out of the equation and you have a useless drug. The premise is a sexually promiscuous lifestyle. This is the very same thing as the old “hand out condoms in school” issue, except more underhanded.

The drug companies knew that they would not be able to sell nearly as much of their product if they included all of the information, so they are counting on consumer ignorance and a lack of consumer investigation and selling us a line. Unfortunately, many of us are on the hook once again! They know that they would not be able to sell much of their product if they were to simply say that it prevents an STD (which is the most accurate statement). Why? Because for most people, that is not going to be an issue. This is the same issue as that of giving teenagers birth control, people are trying to prevent the consequences of lifestyle choices. Again, the premise, or starting point, is wrong, so the end conclusion is wrong. I don’t have time right now to get into worldview issues and explain all of the statements given above (such as why I believe it is silly to give a teenager birth control), so let me say once again, that I admit I am operating from a Judeo-Christian worldview and since I know the Bible to be true and Christ’s standard to be authoritative, I must align myself with it.

The bottom line, they are skipping steps here folks! Though to different ends, the logic is analogous to the following example. Let’s suppose for a moment that I ran an advertisement that I have discovered that the government is murdering at least 1200 people a year in laboratory-like rooms by injecting them with toxins. I’ve done my research and the numbers are on the rise every year, but I’ve discovered a way to prevent this. I then run an emotionally charged ad talking about how so many families lost their dear loved ones to the evil government program. I even give a few testimonials from ladies like Sue, who is in tears because her oldest son little Tim will not be celebrating Christmas with them this year because the government murdered him in one of their labs. My answer is that I have found out that the government is keeping these poor people in holding tanks and many of them are executed every year and if they stay there long enough, their death is inevitable. Thus, I will pass legislation to ban these holding tanks, effectively preventing the murders committed in these concentration-camp-like places. This sounds great! I mean, I can prevent over 1200 murders a year with one simple act of legislation. Shoot, we will even be saving money because the buildings and labs will no longer be needed. This is GREAT!!! Ok, this is a cheesy example, but let me break it down. If you shoot someone and are convicted of murder, the government will send you to prison, and you will likely get the death penalty and be executed for your crimes. The execution is the consequence of your action. In this example, A (your crime) causes B (jail), which in turn causes C (the possible outcome of your actions). Thus where “-“ equals causation, A-(B-C). In my example, I used particular language to misrepresent C and herald B as the problem (also using particular language to conceal the true nature of B). I neglected to mention A at all. The marketers of Gardasil have used the very same logic. Sexual promiscuity may cause an STD, which may in turn cause certain types of cervical cancer. Gardasil does in fact prevent some HPV, thus preventing some cancers, but it is false logic and deception. They focus on talking about how it prevents certain types of cervical cancer so that all the average consumer hears is “prevents… (Cervical) cancer,” and they know it (folks, marketing is nothing but psychology).

So, if you are a woman and are going to be sexually promiscuous, then you may indeed want to get this medicine, but don’t deceive yourself as to why you are getting it. If you are a parent, understand that you are putting yet another foreign substance into your daughter’s body** and you are not preventing cancer, but a sexually transmitted disease, effectively telling your children that personal responsibility is not a reality, that you don’t trust them, and/or that they can now be promiscuous without having to worry about this consequence. This is the true bottom line and it is despicable to play upon parent’s emotions to sell drugs that prevent consequences, and under false pretenses at that!

I’m truly amazed folks; once again, truly amazed!




*not that I’ve read it all, but I’ve talked with several very knowledgeable medical folks, one of whom is an experienced “female” doctor, and done a little independent reading

**hey, I’m for medicine, but all medicines have consequences and though we do take lots of medicines and I think there are many, many good ones, a medical reality is that every substance affects your body and we only understand enough to know that we don’t understand all of the consequences, especially where new medicines are concerned (anyone remember the iud nightmares). The thing is, medicine is a matter of choosing the lesser of two evils, as the saying goes, in very dim light. Chemo is another example… it is better to be weak and a mess and alive, than to die anyway, but chemo does have some very negative consequences… ok, officially ranting again ;).

Links:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_papillomavirus
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gardasil
http://www.gardasil.com/?WT.srch=1&WT.mc_id=GL07L

Still Here

Hey guys, just wanted to let you know that I'm still here. Lots of things have changed and I have lots to report (and haven't forgotten about that series), but oh to have the time to write!!! I hope to resume in the next couple of weeks, but we will see. Prayer is appreciated ;)

And You Shall Teach Them Diligently

As usual, I will need a few moments to set this up, so please bear with me :).

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Deuteronomy 5:16 16 ¶ 'Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with you on the land which the LORD your God gives you.

Ephesians 6:2-4 2 Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. 4 And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
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So often we use this verse or speak about it, but we never really delve into what it means, how it plays out practically in life. As already stated, the purpose of this note is not to give an exposition of this verse, but rather to be one part of a lifetime of fulfilling it, to thank my mom on this mother’s day. Children are called to honor and obey their parents and parents are called to raise their children in the love and admonition of the Lord, not unto wrath. As with all of the scriptures, the purpose is a matter of the inward heart, not merely outward appearance. I have been blessed with a mother that understands this and has raised me to. Though there are many ways to express appreciation and love, public praise is a very important one and is the purpose and intent of this note.

For those of you that don’t know, I am a student at Southern Seminary. I have been blessed to be able to take a parenting class this semester covering the Biblical theory, methodology, and implementation of parenting. It was a very encouraging, fun, and devotional class for me. You may wonder how so, when I am still single and not dating, thus quite far from parenting? My mom is the answer to that question. Ultimately all glory and honor belong to the Lord, but his faithful servants are also to be praised. I say it was devotional first because of the subject, the very subject of parenting is a weighty one that encompasses the gamut of the Gospel. There is much to be learned and applied between the two. Yet, I also say it was devotional because I cannot remember a single time during the course that we covered something my mom not only lived out in how she raised me, but also taught me to do the same. I was constantly presented with material and over and over I could hear or see my mom in the past either doing the same thing or giving the same advice.

As I said in a previous note dedicated to my mom, she would not have me go on and on bragging about her (though I most certainly could), so I will respect her wishes. Yet, I will say a few things very briefly. Of all the things that I could list and all the things mom has done (and believe me, they are MANY), perhaps the thing that has had the greatest impact is the level of communication we have always shared. I cannot take credit for this. Sure, I talk a lot (once you get to know me anyway), but the communication came from my mom, constantly teaching and correcting me. With the communication we were able to, well, communicate about a lot of things. We have had endless conversations lasting who knows how long about countless things (I guess you get the point). Yet, in these conversations, mom was not just talking to me. No, she was also teaching me. We would talk about theory, methodology, and implementation of parenting as well as life in general. When she would discipline me, she would explain why and what her goal was. When she would observe me interacting with others, she would explain how that fit in one category or another and why this may work and that may not. My mom LIVED the Shema(h)*, teaching me at every moment in constant selflessness. I cannot imagine how much it must have taken out of her, especially considering the things we’ve been through; and yet, she was always faithful, and is always faithful. Even to this day, mom continues to teach me and to watch over my soul as it were. Even to this day, she is the most discerning person I’ve ever met. She led me in love and in devotion to Christ and I am who I am in Him ultimately because of Him, but I was led that way through my mom, His faithful servant.

I remember one conversation in particular a while back where I was complimenting her and, being humble as she is, she said that most kids think so, but that as they age, they begin to see mistakes their parents made and wonder to themselves “why did mom do this to me” or that a particular thing the parents chose to do caused trouble later on. I told her then that by nature of her statement I couldn’t give an adequate answer, but that I did not believe that would be true (and even if it were, we are all human). As with so many of the things mom has told me, I “kept it (them) in my heart.” Since then I have paid close attention to myself and to the idea of parenting, I do not want to be blind. After over a year of this contemplation, several marriage and this parenting class, I still stand by what I said. Strong as I am, I cannot fathom how she raised me in the way she did with the circumstances as they were. She gave me a sure foundation in Christ and even helped me build the walls. Was she perfect? Am I blind to her imperfections? Most certainly not, but we are all human and as parents go, I cannot, with all of my vivid imagination, imagine someone to have done a better job or done it with more love.

With all that she has poured into me and all that the Lord has led me to, I do not fear marriage or parenting. I take it seriously don’t get me wrong, but I do not fear it. I have seen the things she taught me work time and time again and even here at Seminary, they were prescribed as the way we ought to raise our children. With such testimony, how can I fear. Instead, I prayerfully hope that I can be an equally loving and wise parent.

As I said in the beginning of this note, one of the ways that you can demonstrate love is to publicly praise the one you love and yet I can’t even do that without realizing that my mom is the one who taught me how. So, I’m afraid that I can’t give her anything she has not already given me… but then again, that is the truest definition of love and a wonderful picture of the Gospel. Thank you so much mom, for your endless love, care, and support. You have taught me more about the Lord, the Scriptures, and ministry, than all my theology classes combined. What else can I say, but I love you and I am unspeakably thankful that the Lord allowed me to have you for my mother!

So mom, thank you so much! Please continue praying for me as I know you have, do, and will. I pray for you all the time and I am continually amazed by your wisdom, insight, and love! Words will surely fail if I continue trying, so, happy mother’s day!




*Deuteronomy 6:4-9 ¶ "Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! 5 "And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 "And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; 7 and you shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. 8 "And you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. 9 "And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.