Showing posts with label Humorous. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humorous. Show all posts

Apr 1, 2008

My April Fools 2008 ;-)

Hey guys, just wanted to give you a little insight into how I spent my April fools. Now, before I begin, I realize that some of you will have different convictions and I say now, that each should operate as his conscience dictates, never violate your conscience! If you feel convicted that pranks are wrong, then don’t do them. If you feel that they are ok, then make sure that you don’t harm anyone spiritually or otherwise in them. I think that we must be careful, but am not convicted that pranks are wrong in and of themselves… if done in view of the brotherly love we are all to have for one another. Thus, I share ahead of time that if you are bothered by pranks and see them as evil, don’t read on.






As some of you know, I have a Facebook account and enjoy it very much. Also, as many of you know, I am single (and looking). First thing this morning, I called my mom to warn her so that she wouldn’t have a heart-attack (and to get her in on the joke). Then, I created a fictitious woman named Rachel, changed my Facebook status from “single” to “married” and linked the two accounts. I then changed my profile picture to one this one:



Then I posted the following note:
(note: I have obscured the picture on purpose)

Well folks, I have long teased about looking for “Rachel,” which was an analogy for my future beloved (Gen 29). I have had conversations with many of you about “her.” I guess God truly has a sense of humor because I’ve been talking to a girl for a few months… her name is (was) Rachel Cambell. We knew each other back at North Greenville University (then College) and I even taught her karate. We talked and hung out a lot when we were there and then lost contact for the last few years. It turns out that in those couple of years of talking and hanging out we were both quite interested in each other but I was not willing to step forward, so things died off. A few months ago (early this past January actually) we found each other again and have been talking to each other A LOT, catching up and getting to know each other again. We decided that since we were both ready, knew each other well enough, and had felt the Lord leading us together before, we should go ahead and wed. I never thought I would do something this crazy, but you know what they say.

As to why this particular weekend… well, as you all know, I have been very under the gun lately. Between academics and Rachel, now you can understand why. This weekend just worked best for both of our schedules. So, I flew down, we had a small, private ceremony and here we are. We’ll have a “friends and family” service this coming summer, so for any that wanted to “be there,” have no fear you have not missed it!




__________________________________________

The rest of the day was spent in endless laughter reading, hearing, and talking with friends who’s reactions ranged from disbelief, disappointment, to applause. It even earned a very unconvinced and sarcastic phone call from my mentor at the church. The first words out of his mouth were, “so, when’s the baby due?” To which I replied, “well, I figure we can’t really hide it… in about six months.” Again, this is only funny because it is SO antithetical to everything I stand for and the way that I reason through things.


Then, of course, with only a few minutes left to the day, I changed my status to “Aaron just has to say it… APRIL FOOLS!!!...,” changed myself back to single, and made the fictitious Rachel disappear. I then posted the following as comments on the note.

"Thanks for playing the April fools conspiracy and thanks to those who helped make it SO much fun!!! (and thanks to Randal for the title)."

"Those who know me well probably didn’t believe it for a second and if you did think I would do something that insane, you’re as certifiable as I was suggesting I had been :-). Sheesh, nothing could be more antithetical to who I am or to my true desires and heart. Yep, if you believed it, you were duped by a big fat April fools!!! Don’t get me wrong, I desire to meet the right person, but in the Lord’s time and way. Oh, and to all the (fictitious) broken-hearted ladies arising out of this joke, have no fear, I’m still available and looking (ha ha, ;)"

"ps - in no way was I trying to make fun of anyone, I was ranting in my odd little way, but didn't mean to word it so strongly (in reference to the above post). Sorry B-)"


So yeah, that was pretty much my day... endless fun with the gift of laughter!!!

I was quite blessed by much of the disbelief as those who know me best didn’t believe it for one second. I was also blessed by many of the related compliments from friends who told me why they didn’t believe it. Today, I have received compliments and encouragement like none before from some very discerning and loving people. I truly have some GREAT friends who love me dearly and whom I love dearly. I thank my God continually for you all!!!

Dec 1, 2007

A Random Aside

Ha ha… just more of my antics. I have been casually playing racquetball for about a year and a half now. By casual, I mean that I don’t really pay too much attention to scoring or the particular rules, I just enjoy hitting and chasing the ball and seeing what martial art antics I can fit into the game. Thus, I am sure it is really “entertaining” to watch. Anyway, during the time that I’ve played, I stopped using a few balls because they didn’t seem to work so well any more. However, I have not had one split until the other day. I don’t know if this is normal or not, probably just from being worn out, but I hit the ball pretty hard, it split / broke, thudded against the wall, bounced twice… and died on the floor.

It probably doesn’t sound so by the way I am describing it, but I thought it was quite comical at the time. Usually it will come flying back toward me or at some crazy angle, but noooo… it just thudded in a grand, anticlimactic, I’m too old for this kind of way.

Well, what do you do with a broken / split racquetball? I guess most would throw it out… and I will… but for now, I just have to have some fun with it. I “discovered” that if you squeeze the sides, the split opens and closes like a little mouth (or change purse). So, I decided to draw a smiley face on it and surprise my friend Ben when he came over. Ben being Ben… went into monologue with it! Ben thinks it looks like Charlie Brown with a goatee. For some reason it reminds me of the Looney Tunes cartoons where Lenny says, “I shall love him and hold him and pet him and squeeze him and call him George,” so, I shall call him George ;)

One day George will have to go away, but for now, he makes me laugh (and yes, I admit that I am odd ;)



PS - No, I have not given up on the series, I will be working on that later, but just wanted to take an aside for a moment :)


















George, in somewhat decent health



















George, being squeezed

Sep 14, 2007

A Random Break

Ha ha… this one is totally random!!!

So, you may be wondering, what do Martial artists do when they are really hyper and have an inquisitive mind? (and if not, I’m going to tell you anyway :) Well, they do many things… some very constructive and some not. One thing they do is play all sorts of random Martial Art scenarios in their head of how strong one weapon is vs. another and then ponder what would happen when a practice weapon is used against real objects and how much skill would (or wouldn’t) make up for the inferior quality of practice weapons. So many angles (no pun intended) to consider with just this one example.

An example that struck me a while back (ok, not literally) was between a wooden Bokken and a standard 2x4. I found myself wondering… “if I strike this just right, can I break it with this fake weapon? “ There no doubt that a real Bokken would be able to (and then some), but what about a wooden one?

Ok so bottom line, if you took a wooden Bokken and struck a standard 2x4, which would win? Well, let’s think about the factors involved.

The 2x4 is about 2 to 3 times as thick (mass), yet the Bokken is considerably more dense. Also, the main strength of the Bokken is technique, which is an entirely different aspect to consider. From there the angle of attack and the method of holding the board in place also greatly affects the outcome.

Well, I just so happened to have a 2x4 and a wooden Bokken, so NATURALLY, I just HAD to test the scenario. What sort of scientist would I be if I didn’t… right?! Now the 2x4 that I had was about three feet in length. Since I was by myself, I decided to simply rest the board at about a 45 degree angle from the cement wall to the cement floor. I decided that, naturally, my attack would be a downward 45 degree angle, which would intersect the board on a perpendicular line. Also, the board would face flat with the 4”(ish) side serving as the “defending” surface. I chose it not because it it the weakest side of the board, though it is, but because in the experiment, I was pitting weakness against weakness (in terms of the weak part of the sword striking the weak side of the board).


So now back to our original question… if you take a wooden Bokken and strike a standard 2x4, which will win?

Well, in this case it took two strikes. The first strike was tentative (I really didn’t want to break the Bokken) and didn’t break either. On the second strike I decided to go for broke (again, no pun intended). So, long story short… in this case the Bokken won, but barely and at the cost of its life! It snapped the 2x4, but broke the tip of the Bokken.

(and FYI, had I not slightly dropped the tip of the Bokken at the last second, I don’t think it would have broken – I actually finished the break so that I can shave it down :)


In the end I guess the moral of the story is that if you are a 2x4 and you see a martial artist with a wooden Bokken, you SHOULD be afraid :o)



And yes, I realize the 2x4 was not a clean break, but "success" was not defined as a clean break, just a break ;-)

Sep 10, 2007

Multifacetudenessity

End note (at the beginning) this is yet another really long one with several points and some setup, but you can make it!)

Well, yet another random one. Throughout the years it has been interesting to see the different reactions I get from people and to take note of the angle from which they are viewing me. One thing that I find to be a constant frustration and source of comedy is how we are so multifaceted; that people never completely know each other. We are so insanely complex and so many things affect our perception of another person. The angle from which we view a person is perhaps the greatest source for opinion, yet it is only one of who knows how many angles (and from the perception of an imperfect observer). So, we already have two problems affecting perception. We, as multifaceted beings, must be viewed from different angles (as many as possible, if we want a clearer picture of the person). We must also be viewed with discerning eyes and our perception must be checked time and time again, by the best we are able to perceive of the reality of who they are. This is why it is so foolish to marry someone after only a short period of time and why we must be careful not to write people off after a bad impression.

I can be a very “modalistic” person. By this I mean that I sometimes act very different in one context than I do in a different context. When I am at work, I don’t really goof off at all. In my mind, I am there to do a job, to do it to the best of my abilities, and to do it as efficiently as possible. Thus, when I am at work, I am a very serious and focused person (as a rule). When I am in class, I am much the same way. I am there to learn and to pay attention, so (as a rule) I sit in the front and don’t talk to people. When I am at karate or working out, the same thing applies, I am quite focused on that (though at karate a decent amount of goofing off applies when I am not the one teaching). When I preach, I am very intense: I’m there to deliver the Word of God, which may involve humor, but my primary purpose is to be faithful in delivering the message, which is a very serious matter. When I am hyper and goofing off around friends, I am just a big goofball. Now, none of this is to mean that I can’t and / or don’t switch “modes” or that I don’t sometimes switch easily (though some are easier than others). In other words, when I preach or teach, that does not mean that I never preach light-hearted messaged or that my delivery is devoid of emotion. This does not mean that when I’m hyper and goofing off, that I can’t switch into a very serious and intense conversation (in fact, I love doing so).

My point with the above, and with the note in general, is that I know the different facets of who I am (at least somewhat) and it is funny, frustrating, and disillusioning sometimes when I realize that person “x” doesn’t realize that facet “g” exists. For example, I remember when I led the college / career ministry at my old church. This was a new ministry for our church and for the first week or two it was all about adjusting and getting things in place. Now, they had heard me preach and seen my in the various roles in which I served, but none of us really knew each other. I led the lessons for a few weeks before things were really in place enough to start thinking socially. Then, after a week or two I started trying to get social activities together to draw us together as a group. At this point, they had only known “Aaron the teacher.” One of the first times that we came together socially (see *1 – to include here would be an intrusion into this thought) I was really hyper (some of you know what this is like and some don’t ;), so they got to see a little of “the other side” of Aaron. Later in conversation, Meg (who is now with the Lord) was talking to me and said something to the effect that she was not very excited about having me for a leader at first because I was so intense and serious. She couldn’t imagine having fun, much less community, with a leader like that. Later in our friendship, I am sure there were times where she wished I’d be a little less silly ;) I also remember another person and situation with my friend from Charleston, Mike. He and I “came up together” in the Martial Arts. He always saw the goofy, hyper Aaron. For at least a few years this was really the only impression he had of me. Then, I remember he came in to visit me at work one day and I was busy doing whatever and didn’t really spend much time talking or goofing off. Later, he commented on the difference and said something to the effect that he couldn’t believe how serious I was.

We go through life with some sort of picture of who we are (sometimes accurate, sometimes not) and by nature of having no other knowledge, assume (at least in general) that others have the same picture. Thus when troubles come or someone says something that contradicts our picture, it can be very hurtful and disillusioning. For example, one thing that I am VERY passionate about is being totally upfront and honest in all situations with everyone (see my Ben Franklin quote, it resonates with me). Now, I am not delusional in thinking that I have achieved this, but it is a very large part of who I am and I strive to be as such. When someone says something that contradicts this, it really bothers me. For example, a friend a while back said that I was not upfront and then later qualified that I was not as upfront as I thought I was. If she is right, then I obviously have a flawed picture. As we discussed it, the things to which she was referring were thing which would be very unwise to share for one reason or another. Thus, no, I do not share anything and everything: if wisdom demands that I keep my mouth shut, then I will. In all other areas I strive to be totally open. This is a very real example of where this person saw one facet of who I am (ie: the situations where wisdom is required form the bulk of her perception of this aspect of me), and misunderstood the whole picture.

Ok, so what is my point in all of this? Well, I really have two. The first is to encourage us all to be careful in “cementing” our perceptions of others. I have known many married couples who admit that when they first met each other, at least one of them could not stand the other one because of one thing or the other. In fact, one of them it was because he was SO intense in his teaching, she didn’t think she could ever approach him – just thought I’d throw that one in there :) I have also lost count of how many friendships may have been prevented and how many have been hurt because of this very thing. We must be careful not to judge prematurely and we must treat each other with lots of grace. It is the height of arrogance to think that we have perfect knowledge of the other person, only God has this type of knowledge (which is why we must also pray) (see *2).

This naturally leads me to my second point. If we, as finite beings, are so complex and multifaceted, how much more is God! If we cannot understand ourselves, and definitely can’t understand each other, what hope do we have of understanding God?! The bottom line is that apart from Him revealing Himself, we can’t. Thankfully, God is not an imperfect being. Instead, He is perfection. He is the very definition of what it means to be perfect, He is the measuring rod. Thus, if He says it, we can believe it, based on who He is and the simple fact that He said it. Thus, we can know God, but not perfectly because that would require that we be God. If that were possible, He would not be God. Anyway, enough of that, my point here is that God has revealed Himself in the scriptures of the Old and New Testaments, the Holy Bible. Thus, though God is incomprehensible, we can know about Him through His word. Therein, He has given the testimony of how we can know Him personally, through His Son Jesus Christ! (I am not connecting all the dots here, but I trust that you are following me, if not, please ask). Ok, so, if a person knows God personally through Christ His Son, what then? Well, we still do not have perfect knowledge of God. Christ through the Holy Spirit reveals God’s Word to us and we can grow deeper and deeper in our knowledge of who He is. We can study the scriptures our entire lives and still not scratch the surface of what God has revealed about Himself. This should humble us and drive us to seek to know Him more. To go a step beyond this, though God has revealed certain facets of who He is through the Scriptures, He is so much more than that (comparably) minute revelation. Thus, we must be very careful that we NEVER assume we are beginning to grasp Him. He has given us what we need for now and we are to study that faithfully. He has told us that He is love, that He is just, that he is holy, and so on and so on. We can trust these things to be completely true (as discussed above) and though we cannot see the other facets of who He is we need not worry that those unknown facets will contradict any that He has already revealed. Remember, God is not a man that He should lie. He does not tell us one thing to hide another, nor does He have an incorrect perception of Himself. What He has revealed is entirely true and good, but let us never fall to thinking that what is revealed is all of who He is. Some things are just too much for us to comprehend. For example, God has revealed that He is holy. Stop and think about that. What does it mean to be perfectly holy? If the thought does not send you hours of contemplation, you are not thinking about it deep enough. Ultimately we cannot even comprehend this one attribute. This is but one of the many things that He has revealed about Himself. Were we to ponder all of them it would take us the rest of our lives and we would still fall way short. How much more the things that are incommunicable and as yet unknown?

Now, my point to the previous section is that we can know certain things. God has said that Jesus Christ is His Son, that is not up for debate. Anyone who says otherwise rejects God and is a liar (see *3). This is a clear example of things which need to “other” perspective. Though we may not be able to comprehend the complexities of how this works or the interrelationship of the Trinity, we can stand firmly on what is clearly revealed. The doctrine of Christ’s deity is very clear and is not something that we should say is ok to disagree on. Other things, however, are not as clear. For example, in His Word, God reveals that Christ will return at some point, that there will be a judgment, that no sane person should want to be apart from Christ when this happens, and that we must be faithful in trying to tell people the Good News. These statements are very clearly revealed in the Scriptures. There can be no debate as to the truth of these statements (at least not based on what God has revealed). However, the specifics of how these things will be played out is not very clear at all, as evidenced by centuries of fervent debate and study. This is an area where honest difference of opinion can exist. As such, we must show grace to each other when we disagree with brothers and sisters in Christ. This is one of those multifaceted examples where we can know something, something that is true, but we cannot comprehend the complexities of it. Now, I admit this is a weaker example. Now, to go for the kill and the super controversial subject around here (he he). The subject of God’s sovereignty. The Bible clearly says that God is sovereign. He is in total and absolute control. Nothing can trump Him, nothing surprises Him, and NOTHING is beyond His control. For someone to deny this fact, is to deny who God is and the testimony of Scripture. They have erred into heresy. However, the Bible also very clearly teaches that human beings make real choices and that they are responsible for those choices. God created us with some sense of free will. This is from God and cannot be denied. To do so, is also to err into heresy. So, what do we do with this tension (which is a term that means something we cannot comprehend)? Welcome to centuries of debate my friend! My point here is not to debate the issue, in fact, I think way too much time has been spent on it already! My point is that God is so incredibly beyond our scope of comprehension and so much more multifaceted than we are, that we cannot comprehend how these two things work together. We have tried time and time again to comprehend it, but, in my opinion, it is a mystery we do not have the capacity to understand and to claim that we do, is to go well beyond revealed scripture. Thus, this area, perhaps above all others in our Seminaries and Bible schools, is one in which we should show grace. How can we condemn one brother for staring at facet # 3,645,234,545, when we are fixated on facet # 3,645,234,546? Yet so often we do. We are only separated by a fraction of comprehension, both staring at the same characteristic of God’s relationship to humanity, though at slightly different facets, and then calling each other false based on our perception. The fact is that neither of us comprehends the total truth and to think that we do reduces God’s glory and exalts our arrogance (which btw, is and always is a negative correlation). Thus, again, we must show grace. We must realize our limited ability to understand against God’s infinity! So let us not divide over issues that simply come down to God being God and humans being flawed and only partially able to understand.

With the above, please do not hear me saying that we should not study to show ourselves approved. I believe that we should all study these things and try, the best that we can, to comprehend them. This should be both our duty and our joy, in growing in the knowledge of and in our relationship with, Christ our Savior. What I am saying is that unless something is truly crystal clear, let us have the humility to admit that we may be wrong and not judge our brother, who may be right, and the sense to realize we may both be blind.

Oh yeah, and before I forget, though the thoughts are mine (in as much as anything is ours), the specific term “facets” was taken from Kenneth Boa’s book “Conformed to His Image.” It is worth a read!


*1 – If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. When meeting new people and especially in a new group I tend to be an observer first. I will sort of disappear and watch and learn to see who people are. Thus, when I first meet people, they often think I am really quiet and reserved. Later they learn quite the opposite ;)

*2 - Note: this is not to lead to relativism, just to be sober in judgment and always with the realization that we may be wrong. Some would use similar logic to make the case that we cannot truly know anything and thus all is relative (which is a self-defeating argument btw ;). That is not AT ALL what I mean or the direction I am taking. The difference here is that my argument is based and / or formed on the authority of scripture. So, I am not making the case for Universalism or for anything other aberration.

*3 – 1 John 5:10 (in context vs 6-12); John 8:39-59; 1 John 2:22




Now, to prove yet another facet of who I am. I can be incredibly random (those who know me best are going, yep!). This entire note started because I wanted to post something short and fun (clearly I have accomplished that, right :). I sat down to post one of my favorite cartoons from one of my favorite cartoonists. I was going to write a sentence or two about how I am multifaceted and I like the serious stuff as well as the comical. So, 5 pages of text later…

This is one of my favorite cartoons by Reverend Fun. This site is my homepage. I will warn you, some of his stuff is absolutely hilarious and some just leave you scratching your head going O-K… (sorry Rev). Either way, it is worth a look :)

______

www.reverendfun.com

Aug 20, 2007

What’s in a Name

Well, randomness is not something that should surprise you where I am concerned, but here’s another random one ;)


Proverbs 22.1 says that a good name is to be desired more than great riches. I have always liked my name. I do not mean in the sense that I think it’s just “all that,” but I like it. Overall, I have never found it to be associated with anything too negative and actually didn’t even know there were any other “Aaron Hawks,” though I have never been so naive enough as to think that others didn’t exist. A year or two ago, I got curious and “Googled” my name and found a few others out there, though the name was still not popular by any means. It has been a while, I got curious again, so I did it again (I know, some of you are thinking “man this kid has no life!” To that, I would respond that you don’t either since you are reading this ;).

This time there were a lot more “Aaron Hawks” than last time. It is very interesting what you find when you Google your own name. Below is the non-comprehensive, but fairly accurate summary of what I found.



So far…

there’s a pornographic photographer

A few misc students

Someone with Aaron J Hawk… that’s kinda creepy :/

Statistics of the popularity of the name Aaron (ironically spiked around the time I was born… hmmm)

A famous boxer

A character on Soldier of Fortune

Some random Chinese guy

Some 15 year old kid who writes in Chinese (not sure if related to the above, but don’t believe it’s the same guy)

A reference to my name in a rap song (not sure what Aaron Hawk it is referring to)

Some cobalt programmer

Some guy at taco bell driving a jeep (this one is actually a video)

A college student that enjoys driving a 4x4 (perhaps the same guy as above), who is into the Martial Arts

Some German site

A band named Hawk Nelson with a guy named Aaron, that evidently knocked Toby Mac down on stage

Some random actor (who evidently really needs work), who lists, among his interests / talents, Martial Arts and Archery

The name of a band, described as “ambient psychedelic cult Band from Nuremberg”

And finally, a few hits that really are me.


Hmmmm, interesting…

May 18, 2007

Another Funny Martial Arts Story

Originally posted 10:42pm Monday, Nov 13, 2006 on Facebook



For those that know me well, especially in terms of the Martial Arts, this is yet another “close call” story. For those don’t or have never heard one of my “close call” stories, enjoy.

I spent most of the day today in the Library (not my favorite thing to do… at all) doing research. I was in “work mode” (again, some will get this, some won’t) and thus VERY focused on what I was doing. I got up to go to the restroom, which has a small, closed-in foyer, dimly lit, with two double doors. In the times that I have been in there, I have never seen anyone else at the same time. I was walking at “Aaron speed” and almost went through the door full-speed (the doors swing in), but backed off a little as they are not heavy. As I pushed the first one open with my left hand, within a split-second I saw two people standing there coming towards me (some of you already know where this is going :). It scared me so bad and happened so quickly, I came within a split second of thrust-punching (my right hand was free) the object in front of me. It REALLY scared me. As it turns out, the object was what I would estimate to be a 7-year-old boy, who would have sailed into his father! As always, I managed to catch myself before even making the fist, realizing it was a boy and his father, but MAN what another close one. After this, I had to stand there for a few seconds to calm down. Thanks be to God, I have never struck anyone with one of these close calls, but they do make for some hilarious stories!

For those that do not know me, please don’t think badly of me!!! After a while of training, your training becomes ingrained and ideally at a reflexive level. Thankfully, another part of training is assessing the situation. Also, most importantly, thanks for the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ in keeping us from doing stupid things (well, sometimes)!