Life for the Depressed

Wow, a little over a year ago I lost every poem I’ve ever written. I was no flaming professional or anything, but I did have a few things in some minor publications (I can’t remember where now :); I used to write a LOT of poetry and even wrote a short story once. Anyway, I’m packing right now and ran across a copy of one of my old poems. Actually, it was the very first poem I ever wrote. I was in the seventh grade at the time and will provide a little background below.

Some of you are not aware of my past/ rough childhood. Christ has been very faithful to bring healing to my life, but my younger years were not easy to say the least (as I’ve referenced before, I can only share “so much” here in public because it involves other people, so we’ll leave it at that for now). During those years, I was quite depressed and alone, humanly speaking. I contemplated suicide fairly often during that period, but I could never do it. Not because I was scared, I’m too bold / brazen for that. No, it was not fear that kept me from ending my life, instead it’s an amazing testimony to the love and grace of Christ Jesus that kept me from killing myself then and continues to sustain me today.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the time right now to do this story justice (I’m supposed to be packing my apt so I can move tomorrow and I’m WAY behind schedule). For now, I will simply say that even in the depths of my depression, I always had the feeling that I would let someone down if I did it. At the time, I confidently “knew” that there was not a single human being in the entire world that cared about me at all. I am not exaggerating, I didn’t believe that my own mom cared at the time (the devil is deathly crafty and tells some convincing lies) and the goal of every single day was to simply try to avoid as much berating and abuse as possible, so that I could get up and do it again the next day (no wonder I love the book of Ecclesiastes). All was vanity and loss, yet as a saved person (yes, I was saved at the time… so let your theology cringe in fear), I knew that Christ loved me. I didn’t understand it at a conscious level (in other words I would have denied it at the time), but “deep down” I knew… I couldn’t run from it and it was literally THE only reason I didn’t follow through. It was just the sense that I would be letting someone down despite hours, days, weeks, and even months of pondering “who” and not coming up with a single answer. Anyway, I need to get back to packing, but WOW, what a reflection on the grace, love, and awe-inspiring power of Christ! Thank you Lord!!!


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Life for the Depressed©
By: Aaron Hawk

Is my life meaningless?
Is my life lifeless?
Why was I born,
to soak up the morn?
Why is it that in everything I do,
a problem just rises anew?
Should I open up and cry,
or should I allow myself to die?
Should I kill myself,
or continue to live in stealth?
Whether I choose to live in stealth,
kill myself,
or die,
it shall be done while I cry…
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For anyone who may read this and wonder if anyone cares… someone does. Christ cares, and wants to enter into a relationship with you. If you are reading this and are at all intrigued, that alone is proof that Christ is “speaking to your heart.” If you do not have a relationship with Christ, there is guaranteed hope, if you ask Him, Christ will bring you into his family and you will inherit all of the blessings that come with being part of His family (watch the video below and or check out the other links if you want to know how). If you are already part of Christ’s family and struggling, run to your Father in heaven and speak to a faithful minister of the Gospel of Christ! If you do not know one, email me (info below) and I will speak with you and try to find someone in your area. My friend, there is hope, and despite all of the lies that the evil one wants to sell you, you are loved (very deeply) and of great value in Christ! The only warning to give you is that Christ is the only way; He is the only hope… there is no other. The blessing is that if you are feeling prompted by this, He is ready and waiting right now!!!




Email me at Godsservant3” att hotmail dott comm and put “Question about Jesus” in the subject line.






My Church, Ninth and O (woot)

A Church website that seems sound

A fantastic and sincere presentation of the Gospel:

A Continued Moment of Sobriety

Don't fear, the next post in the series is coming very very soon (probably Monday :)

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Hey guys, this is just a continuation of my previous post “A Moment of Sobriety.” Please take the time to read that one as I don’t want to waste time repeating myself… I am just overly burdened at realizing my sin, especially when realizing the depth of my sin. As I mentioned in that note, I have recently realized a critical attitude and form of arrogance that I have not had to fight in a while. By nature of saying that, I also admit my faults in not fighting it in the way that I ought to… once again, I have fallen into complacency and dropped my guard. I spoke on this in the last note and definitely stand by what I wrote. Yet I have come to realize that the problem is larger and deeper than I thought, even when I wrote the last note. This is not who I have grown to be in Christ, yet I have allowed myself to slip back into my old, sinful ways.

I had a group of friends over this afternoon and dearly enjoyed the fellowship. Yet, I caught myself several times making comments (subtle or otherwise) that I should not have and putting others down, instead of building them up (as I have a few other times lately). It would be easy to label this “fine tuning” in terms of sanctification, and perhaps it is somewhat; yet it is deeper than that, and much more vile. The truth is that others may or may not have noticed as they were the type of comments that normally accompany our sinful natures and that we all fall into if we don’t watch things carefully (even still, there is no excuse!). Often we preface them with, well, this person is great… except (or with some other similar qualifier). The idea is that if we “show” that we love the person first, we then have the freedom to “honestly point out” their faults. In accountability directly to this person, or in ministerial conversations (pastoral concern), etc, where the goal is to reason through things so as to help the person, I think this is fine. Yet, all too often we (I) use these premises as an excuse for “sanctified gossip / slander.” In this note I am not accusing anyone other than myself of making such comments. To those in attendance, I am very sorry for not guarding my tongue and not being the man that God has created me to be. Also, I want to apologize to any that have been around me during this season… I am deeply grieved for being a reproach on the name of Christ and for slandering any of my brothers and sisters. Again, I ask for accountability… if you hear me doing this, please call me out. Despite my sinfulness, I love each of you very much (all my friends, not just those here tonight) and am torn to pieces at the thought of offending you directly or indirectly.

Upon realizing the depth of this sin, I have “pulled out” a few older meditations. They are not profound or new, but they are true.

Bottom line, how can I judge anyone? I can declare based on the authority of scripture that something is wrong, but it is not my place to judge any person’s motives or heart… I am not the measuring stick. If on a hypothetical “holiness” scale of 1 to infinity (where Christ’s holiness is infinite), let’s assume that I am a 1.5 (and this is admittedly a nonsensical argument as there is no such thing as holiness apart from Christ, especially where I am concerned) and let’s assume that I genuinely see someone else (true perception) who is a 1.25… it is still wrong to look down on them… for what is that compared to the infinite! More importantly, by even entering into this thought, I prove myself “less” than they are. We are not comparing ourselves to others, but to Christ. Beyond this, since when is our sinful perception actually correct?! Chances are, if we perceive ourselves at a 1.5, we are quite a bit lower than that. Further, if we perceive someone else at 1.25, chances are they are higher. I mean, we make such snap judgments with such partial knowledge that we cannot possibly be correct. Use this example… take one frame from a film that is two hours long. Most 35 mm film travels at a speed of 24 frames per second. Thus, if we run the numbers, the overall averages are 24 frames per second, 1440 frames per minute, 86,400 frames per hour, and 172,800 frames in a 2 hour movie!!! Even if I take 10% of those frames, I am only “seeing” 17,280 frames and missing 155,520. That is NOT enough to “see” who that person is. Thus, not only are we condemned by our own system (if we try to use this one), but the entire paradigm is wrong as Christ is the measure… thus, there is none righteous! Second, it is a matter of rights. God is the only one with perfect perception, thus He is able to judge righteously. To judge someone (again intents, not actions clearly expressed in scripture) is to assume perfect knowledge (again, using the film illustration above) and since that is something which belongs only to God, it is blasphemy! Third, the very nature of love is to build up, not to tear down. It is the antithesis of love to speak negatively, especially to put down. This is nothing short of evil!

Thus, once again, I desperately ask forgiveness and sincerely hope that I am catching this early enough that my sin has gone unnoticed (humanly speaking), yet am not naive enough to think it so. I say this not because I want to hide my sin (otherwise I would not post this), but because once again, I am hoping that I have not hurt or offended any that I love. My offense is ultimately against God and was not and cannot be hidden. Thus, I would rather fall into the merciful and righteous hands of Christ for my own sin, than to offend one of His children and add sin upon sin (2 Sam 24 among others).

A Moment of Sobriety

Don't fear, the next post in the series is coming soon
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Anyone who knows me also knows that I spend a lot of time meditating and reflecting on all sorts of things, including who and where I am in relation to the Lord. I do this mostly because of the way Christ has created and wired me, thus I cannot take much credit. Yet it is also because of my past and the clear realization that we are all self-deceived. I believe that much of the maturation process is a matter of self-reflection before Christ. This is precisely why I am always talking about transparency, honesty, and vulnerability. This is also why Kierkegaard resonates with me (though I don’t agree with everything he says).

Anyway, I am writing after yet another instance where I have discovered self-deception. Take heed, watch therefore, be on the alert, take diligent heed, watch yourself, watch the gates, watch out, watch is mentioned 58 times in the updated NASB,… these are just a few examples in the scriptures of where we are told to be vigilant and watch over our souls. Over and over and over, the scriptures command us (yes, command) that we be watchful. We are to watch ourselves in every aspect at every level of who we are. Thus, we are to watch our life, our doctrine, our growth, our attitudes, our perceptions, our thought processes, the very intents of our hearts, and the list could go on. This takes much discipline and deliberate effort, just as a business cannot operate well if the steward is not keeping track of everything. One little thing neglected, and it can affect all of the others. My mind goes to the story (or secular parable), “For want of a nail the kingdom was lost.” This type of careful watch can be quite overwhelming sometimes and it seems so many never undertake the endeavor. Even with the fact that I am naturally wired to do this (thanks be to God), I must admit that I am all too often lulled into a state of complacency and coasting. Cruise control has no place in the life of a believer, yet too often I fall asleep at the wheel.

The Lord has been very good to me lately (as always), bringing me so near to him after a long time of disobedience and self-will. There are a number of things that I know I must watch on a regular basis. Due to my sinful nature and sinful propensities for using God’s gifts for my own glory, I tend to think too much of myself, when, if I understood the truth, I would be so crushed by my own sin, I wouldn’t be able to lift my head (Luke 18:9-14). A few years back the Lord dealt with me in a pretty major way where it concerns this sin, and I am so thankful to the many that allowed Him to use them. Yet, God does not zap us into perfection. He may work in a way that deals with a sin very powerfully and a major adjustment may be made. Yet, if we are not careful and watchful, it will return very, very slowly and overtake us in a moment (just as I look out one moment and it is night, yet the next it is morning). The way to bring down a castle is not to attack its strength, head-on. But instead, to attack its foundations, slowly undermining its walls or to sneak in through some unguarded way. In the martial arts, the way to defeat an opponent is not to go straight in at his strength, but to find his weakness and exploit it. If we intend to avoid falling in a major way, we MUST watch the little things (catch the little foxes).

In several ways here lately I have noticed a critical attitude, an arrogant moment here or there, a slight shift in perception. It is a scary thing to me as I know self-deception. By nature of realizing that the problem has returned, I must assume it is once again deeper than I realize. A lone soldier may once in a while walk up to a castle, but rarely. Usually, it is a scout, sending word to the ranks hidden beyond the tree line that they should either attack, or hold yet a little while. So, with this realization, I must not only kill the scout, but I must also find the encamped army and with the Spirit, slay them all with my eye showing them no pity.

Ok, so why am I sharing this? Well, for three reasons. First, and most importantly to me, is to seek forgiveness for any that I have offended. I have asked this many times in my life and I know that I will ask many more times. Yet, it is just as sincere now as it has ever been (and I pray that it always will be). Simply put, I have been so overwhelmed and overloaded in the last few months that I simply have not been myself (in Christ). Also, I hope that I am catching this early enough that it has not become noticeable or offensive to any aside from myself, but don’t want to take any chances. I take friendship very seriously and love my friends more deeply than I could ever express. I know that I do not always demonstrate the depth of my love because, quite frankly, I don’t know how to. Encouragement is usually appreciated, but it seems many times deep love is misunderstood (even if in Christ). We don’t know what to do with it, or if we can even trust it when it is given. We want others close, yet not too close. For example, I might give an encouragement to a sister or brother and tear up, only to realize it has been misunderstood. Thus, for ourselves and for others, we restrain ourselves… or at least I try. This is truly sad and surely the affects of sin. Anyway, I am getting into another post at this point. I say these things because I want to illustrate that I am not merely bothered when a friend is offended, but deeply grieved. It is hard enough when I have to stand for the Gospel, which I am more than willing to do. But it can feel unbearable when it is my own sin that causes trouble. The second reason is to thank those that are in my life, acting as watchmen on the wall of my castle. Though I can try to patrol my own walls, I need my watchmen to be on the alert, telling me when I have dropped my guard. Thus, I sincerely thank those that have warned me and beg for continued, brutal honesty. We are in a war folks, when it comes to our defenses there is no room or time for flattery, only the blast of a trumpet. We are not islands… we need each other!!! The third reason is to urge anyone who reads this to watchfulness. I share my heart in the hopes that Christ will, through His Spirit, remind you of the need for vigilance so that it may be well with you. Thus, I could try to write and encourage and exhort you, but I think instead, I will leave you with a few scriptures as there is no greater authority and, thus, no better teacher.



Let the Word of the Lord pierce our hearts!!!
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Deuteronomy 6:10-12 10 "Then it shall come about when the LORD your God brings you into the land which He swore to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you, great and splendid cities which you did not build, 11 and houses full of all good things which you did not fill, and hewn cisterns which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant, and you shall eat and be satisfied, 12 then watch yourself, lest you forget the LORD who brought you from the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. – NASB Updated


Deuteronomy 8:1-20 Deuteronomy 8:1 "All the commandments that I am commanding you today you shall be careful to do, that you may live and multiply, and go in and possess the land which the LORD swore to give to your forefathers. 2 "And you shall remember all the way which the LORD your God has led you in the wilderness these forty years, that He might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not. 3 "And He humbled you and let you be hungry, and fed you with manna which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that He might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the LORD. 4 "Your clothing did not wear out on you, nor did your foot swell these forty years. 5 "Thus you are to know in your heart that the LORD your God was disciplining you just as a man disciplines his son. 6 "Therefore, you shall keep the commandments of the LORD your God, to walk in His ways and to fear Him. 7 "For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and springs, flowing forth in valleys and hills; 8 a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive oil and honey; 9 a land where you shall eat food without scarcity, in which you shall not lack anything; a land whose stones are iron, and out of whose hills you can dig copper. 10 "When you have eaten and are satisfied, you shall bless the LORD your God for the good land which He has given you. 11 "Beware lest you forget the LORD your God by not keeping His commandments and His ordinances and His statutes which I am commanding you today; 12 lest, when you have eaten and are satisfied, and have built good houses and lived in them, 13 and when your herds and your flocks multiply, and your silver and gold multiply, and all that you have multiplies, 14 then your heart becomes proud, and you forget the LORD your God who brought you out from the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. 15 "He led you through the great and terrible wilderness, with its fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty ground where there was no water; He brought water for you out of the rock of flint. 16 "In the wilderness He fed you manna which your fathers did not know, that He might humble you and that He might test you, to do good for you in the end. 17 "Otherwise, you may say in your heart, 'My power and the strength of my hand made me this wealth.' 18 "But you shall remember the LORD your God, for it is He who is giving you power to make wealth, that He may confirm His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day. 19 "And it shall come about if you ever forget the LORD your God, and go after other gods and serve them and worship them, I testify against you today that you shall surely perish. 20 "Like the nations that the LORD makes to perish before you, so you shall perish; because you would not listen to the voice of the LORD your God. – NASB Updated


Proverbs 4:25-27 25 Let your eyes look directly ahead And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you. 26 Watch the path of your feet And all your ways will be established. 27 Do not turn to the right nor to the left; Turn your foot from evil. – NASB Updated


Luke 11:34-36 34 "The eye is the lamp of your body; when your eye is clear, your whole body also is full of light; but when it is bad, your body also is full of darkness. 35 "Then watch out that the light in you is not darkness. 36 "If therefore your whole body is full of light, with no dark part in it, it will be wholly illumined, as when the lamp illumines you with its rays." – NASB Updated


1 Timothy 4:16 16 Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you. – NASB Updated

A Tale of Two Churches

Hey guys, just a quick one this time. As I have mentioned before, I attend (when I’m in Louisville) and am a member of, 9th and O Baptist Church. Someone has created and posted a fantastic, and fair, video on U-tube. I thought I’d share the link if anyone is interested.

I have been attending Ninth and O from the very first Sunday I was in Louisville (July of 2005). I took my time and visited plenty of others before joining in October of 2005, but even while visiting other churches, I always came back to Ninth and O. There I have found a place of fellowship, refuge, encouragement, and challenge (much more about that aspect is sure to come later). I LOVE my church and my church family dearly and jealously. I have found the teaching to be among the most solid anywhere and the fellowship unrivaled. Further, I have never been in a church where I have felt more genuinely loved and cared for.

I am as involved as I am able to be, constantly trying to hold the balance of being properly vs. too involved (as I always have a tendency to do). I am the most heavily involved in the music ministry there, assisting wherever I can. My mentor and close personal friend is Jim Parsons, the Worship Pastor, and I do mean Pastor in the proper sense. There are many preachers and so-called “music ministers,” but few Pastors (John 10). If you are in Louisville, or just like solid, Bible-based sermons, check us out!



Here is Ninth and O’s webpage:

http://www.naobc.org/

Here is the video link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3RIT79avhA


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Also, lest I leave it out, I am privileged to attend Old Fort Baptist when I’m home. Due to circumstances I may or may not write about at another point (though of course I would protect identities), my mother and I had to leave the church we attended (which I still call my home-church sometimes) two weeks before I left for seminary. We had visited Old Fort before, but it was not previously the Lord’s will for us to be there. Upon leaving this previous church, I felt sure Old Fort was the one. Though I knew it was pointless for me to join with only two weeks until I left, I attended services there until it was time to go. Later after prayerful consideration, mom joined and has been there ever since.

I have, for the first time since being in Seminary, been able to spend more than just a week or two at Old Fort. In fact, I was blessed to spend the entire summer with this wonderful family. I must admit that the few times I have been home in the past, I basically hid, knowing that I was only there for a day or two (I even “missed” a few times when I was home to avoid the uncomfortable feeling). That is to my shame. To make a feeble explanation, it is very hard for me to open up to new people. Not in the sense of being bold when I need to be, getting a job done, or speaking for my Lord. I am not the slightest bit timid in these settings. But in the sense of social settings, it usually takes me a while to be comfortable and be myself (and I usually drive a few people crazy because of over-analyzing). Then, once I am comfortable, I basically stop with the over-analyzing, relax, and am able to be myself (which definitely scares people ;) I have meditated long and hard, trying to figure myself out with this. I have gone from one idea to another and I still don’t understand it, but on I digress and further off topic I go… the bottom line, is that it takes me a while to “loosen up” with new people. Thus (finally getting back to my main point), I did not think it worth the effort of “putting myself out” for literally one Sunday (or two at most) every six-months. The beauty of the body of Christ, is that no matter who you are, or where you come from, we are all IN Him, if indeed we are His. This is a lesson that I knew, but that I learned once again, at Old Fort. I was immediately taken in and treated as if I had been there all along. I have grown to love this family, and I do say family, and it is to my sinful shame that I denied myself the pleasure of getting to know them; that I denied them the burden of getting to know me; and, most importantly, that I denied Christ the honor He is due in and through my life, by seeing His children relish His presence together! It is a discredit to me, and a testimony to this church (insert Jim, mentioned above, shaking his head at me ;).

One last thing that I must mention about this church: The preaching ministry in this church is perhaps the greatest I have ever had the privilege of sitting under. I am not saying this to down-play, or discredit any of the other wonderful men of God that I’ve heard and sat under (in fact, I’ve been spoiled between NGU and Southern), but this one, at least to me, stands above all (also, lest he be lifted too high, note that I said “sat under”). I realize that a decent part of my love of this teaching has to do with it being a style that I like, but, beyond this, the messages are SOLIDLY founded on the Holy Scriptures and are delivered with the conviction, power, and passion of a true Pastor (despite using this term twice in this post, I do not use it liberally or lightly in life). The teaching ministry is a challenge to me of the type of preaching I desire to do. The messages are presented, with deep thought, yet in a manner that anyone “who has an ear” can hear. Though the wording is prayerfully and carefully chosen, it is also preached from the heart and not simply memorized, allowing for the perfect “fit” and “flex” in each of the three services. Lest I go on and on, I will simply say, I was blessed to sit under Pastor Eric this summer and plan to continue to listen online in all of the spare time we all know I will not have ;)



Here is Old Fort’s webpage:

http://www.oldfortbaptist.org/






Well, I guess so much for “just a quick one” and “just sharing a link,” but any that know me, know better than that anyway ;) All-in-all, I once-again (enough hyphens for you?), find myself so blessed, as to have to leave one blessing, in order to receive another. I must say farewell to Old Fort (for now), and hello to Ninth and O (yet again). I love you both!

Times of Transition

Well, I have about a week left of work and about a week after that of being home. My last day at work (this time :) will be this coming Friday. After that, I will take the next week to do many of the things that I’ve been intending to do, but haven’t had the time (visit friends, take some Charleston pictures, get my passport – yay!, do some reading and writing, etc).


Times of transition are always bittersweet for me. I love people and places and always feel torn when it is time to leave one place and go to another. I have had “double residency” since 2001 and routinely have to leave one life, to temporarily pick up another, only to return later. I desire to stay here, be with family, discover this new church, and continue working at a job I love and for a boss that I love (and of course, make decent money); yet, at the same time, I desire to be back in school, with my friends, and with my church family.

Now, I must here clarify, I do realize that I am in a blessed position. I do not say that I have to leave where I desire to stay, in order to go where I do not wish to go (or the inverse). No, quite the contrary; I am so blessed by Christ, that I constantly GET to go from one blessing to the other. I am truly so blessed that I’m torn between blessings.

Though I realize my torn feeling is the result of being too blessed, I truly look forward to the day when I am no longer torn between two goods, but have one good. The good I am referring to is a family and one place in which to minister. Now sure, I realize that my ministry will probably change from time to time, and I sincerely look forward to that as well, but, here, I am talking about looking forward to the day when my family, my ministry, and my source of income are no longer many hours and many miles apart. A time wherein I can be involved in my ministry and come home to family instead of an empty apartment and wherein I can have both family and friends, and not have to choose between them. Now, please don’t misunderstand me, I love my life and am quite confident that I am in the Lord’s will. He is continually teaching me contentment and I believe that I am learning this lesson (note the on-going present tense). However, contentment doesn’t necessarily mean that we don’t look forward to better days.

Even in this longing, the Spirit testifies to a deeper, and far greater, longing. I sincerely look forward to that day. That day, wherein we are no longer “double residents,” being in the flesh residents of earth, and in the Spirit, residents of Christ’s Kingdom. I look forward, with great eagerness, to that day, wherein I no longer feel torn, desiring to be with Christ, yet needing to be fruitful for my savior (Phil 1.22-24). I deeply and sincerely long for that day, when my heart is no longer breaking and torn apart over those that reject Christ; when I no longer bear the burden of the lost, but only rejoice in and with the redeemed!!! My heart cries out, desiring that day, when I no longer have to say, “come Lord Jesus, yet tarry a little while longer!”

I'm an addict... thank you!

Once again I stand in complete amazement as I realize (once again) what amazing and encouraging friends I am blessed of the Lord to have!!! In (and because of) this realization, I am continually humbled, literally falling on my face before God, thanking Him for placing such incredible people in my life. I am SO thankful for you all and am continually renewed by your love, your encouragement, even your simple presence. It is truly good for brothers and sisters to dwell together in unity!



The number one way I connect with people is physical touch, so for those that are willing to put up with my playing around (and allow me the delusion that you enjoy it ;), you have no idea how much I need to play this way and how much you delight my heart in this. For those that are huggers, I literally cannot express how much you mean to me. By the simple, pure act of a hug, you are ministering to my soul (in a way that nothing else can)!

For those that are not huggers or don’t play around with me, please understand that you minister to my soul as well. Just as my spiritual life will be negatively affected by a lack of physical touch (seriously folks), I cannot subsist without deep, deep conversations, and the more sober moments of life, to compliment my more zany side. Thus, no matter what particular way you minister to me, I am dependent upon you. Thanks be to Christ Jesus our Lord (my ultimate sustainer), for the way He has ordained for His body to function!!!

Though this note sincerely goes out to ALL of my friends and has been coming for some time now, I do want to include a special “thank you” to those that were here tonight (you know who you are). I enjoyed our fellowship more than you know and am so thankful that you came. I literally wanted to cry (and am now, reflecting upon it) when I looked into your eyes and saw the sincerity and depth of your encouragement and love. I am truly unworthy of such exceptional friends, brothers, and sisters!!!

This last section is going to sound really sappy / corny, but it is from the heart. I hope that you do not doubt the sincerity of this note on the whole, or this last section. I am so amazed at the fellowship and friendships that I have here, I sometimes feel as if I am in a dream and if I breathe, it will all vanish. Yet, I am so confident of the sincerity of your friendship that I know you won’t! I am literally addicted to you guys. This, is the primary reason I don’t want to leave this summer. If I’m home, I can’t get my fix!

I wish that I were skilled enough to use words that would accurately convey the depth of my love and appreciation for you all, but I am unskilled and inept in this regard. I will simply close by saying thank you for allowing me to get to know you!!!


With an overflowing heart of gratitude and love,

Aaron HawkJohn 3:30