I am Human, forgive me ;-)

This is another one that is straight from my heart. Before I continue, I want to say that, as always, I love comments and would encourage any that you might leave (positive or negative, I really don’t mind). However, due to the nature of the subject, I would sincerely ask that you not leave any cliché comments, such as “you’ll find someone someday.” Dealing with things we don’t understand, we rarely know what to say, yet we want the person to be encouraged. That is fine and I understand the tendency, but I am fine. My refuge is the Lord and my identity is in Him. If you want a more detailed explanation of where I stand, I would encourage you to read one of my previous posts entitled “Sweet Wine.” So, for the record, I am not having a faith crisis, I am not doubting God, I am not bitter. I am human. As such, if you are human, you surely have felt this way at one point or another. I think one of the greatest tragedies in modern Christianity (the only perspective from which I can truly speak), is that there is a strain of bad theology and pseudo-devotion that demands we never be honest about human emotions. God created human emotions and it is only when we are ruled by them that they are bad. Finally, please forgive me for my strong words, but it really bothers me when we can’t be honest. Ok, after a post’s worth of rambling…

I wrote the lyrics below to a tune that I love very much, and which I feel expresses the mood very well (see info on tune itself at the bottom of this post).



Send Her To Me

Lord in your word, you said it was
Not good for me, to be a-lone
Yet I’m a-lone, and wai-ting still
For you to move, and your hand to, provide

Oh Lord my God, send her to me
Weary am I, of wa-i-ting
Yet you are good, al-ways to me
So I’m a-ssured, you’re wor-king in, our lives

And if she be, al-rea-dy near
Lord help me not, look o-ver her
But help me see, her as you do
So beau-ti-ful, in eve-ry way, in you

Lord in con-ten-tment let me rest
Until you bring, my love to me
I know your plan, is best for me
So help me rest, with-in your arms, ‘till then

When in your time, and in your way
Your plan’s revealed, to both of us
Unto your side, help us to cleave
And there re-main, one flesh in you, our Lord



The tune is “Hunter’s Glen” by James D. Cram, 1970. It can be found in the 1975 Baptist Hymnal or you can listen (and read the lyrics) at http://www.friendshipbaptistchurch.com/hymn/bphym312.mid (if it does not load correctly delete the “bphym312.mid” and then look for number 312. I will add that the hymn on this site plays MUCH faster than I like to sing it, so you may have to slow it down to get the sense (and for the purposes of this song, it is really better with just a piano or a violin). Below is the sheet music from the original song




Click below to see the video of this song the way I like it played... by me ;)

To the Ground

Ok folks, I’ve posted some rough and random ones before, but this one takes the cake. A common practice in some denominational circles is to ad-lib a prayer to the Lord in song. Some pick a tune and repeat it, some ad-lib the entire thing. In this case, I started with a basic tune and then repeated and / or changed it at points, so it is sort of in-between (leave it to me not to obey any of the rules… not that they really exist here… and on I ramble). Anyway, I can’t write music and I can’t remember the name of the tune I started with (it is one most of you would know), so you’ll just have to do without. This one is raw and unedited (except for spelling which doesn’t count when you are singing ;) It is not particularly deep or pretty as I just turned the recorder on before I prayed in song, then transcribed it below. I’m not really sure why I’m posting this one, but perhaps it will bless someone.


To the Ground...


Oh Lord my God, I love you, yes I love you
Oh Lord my God, I love you, yes I love you
And I say O Lord my God, I love you, yes I love you
Dear Lord my God, I love you, yes I love you

Oh Lord my God, I love you, yes I love you
Oh Lord I turn at every corner, away from you
Faithful you’ve been, and yet, I run from your hand
You’re so faithful and true, I’m so wicked and vile
Lord you’re both pure, and purity… I’m both filthy and wicked
Oh Lord you’re worthy of all that can give
And Lord I’m not worthy to look upon you
I’m so wicked and vile, how can I call upon you
My voice fails within me, my heart is broken too
And Lord I’m tired of apologizing, again and again…
Lord I’m sorry that I’m sorry once again!

And Lord, I don’t comprehend why you love me
I’m so unworthy of your touch, so unworthy of your heart
You’re so holy and pure, I’m so stained by my sin
I can’t look up to see your face, and yet I know you’re looking down
I can’t reach up, yet I’ve forgotten how to kneel
No longer do I blush when I sin against your name
And no longer do I feel I’ve broken your heart when I have

Oh Lord cut my heart, tear it out, and give me yours
Lord teach me now how to blush, and how to kneel
Break my heart and my spirit…
Oh Lord, help me fall,
-at your feet, let me stay, hold my hand and lead the way
Grab my heart and my mind, lead and guide my every thought

Help me moment by moment to seek your face not your hand
Help me moment by moment to seek your will and not my own
Help me love you with all that I am and I have
Help me Lord to love you and see your face when I’m tempted

Oh Lord when trials come, help me lean on you
Help me seek and find purity in you
Oh Lord turn my heart and my mind, wholly to you
Let them bend and waiver no more
Oh Lord help me now in purity to walk before you
Oh Lord help me sing to honor you in joy and not,
-in pain Lord, let me stand when I sin against you
Yet comfort me quickly, else I perish and return, to the ground
Help me kneel with my face, to the ground…







Ok, though I always have a reason for choosing the pictures I choose to place in my posts (try saying that a few times fast ;), I almost never explain my reason for the choice. In this case, I think the picture fits quite well, but the quality of the shot is such, that I will explain it below. This shot was on a very overcast morning in Cinci, with my old camera. It is a shot of an old tree trunk that had been hit by lightening at some point and been destroyed and lay dead for who knows how long. Now, ignore the sapling closest to the camera (that I could not get out of the shot), and look inside the old, dead tree-trunk… notice there is a fresh, green sapling growing inside the fertile and protected cavity of the decimated tree. I’ll let you take that where you want to, but thought I’d point it out.