Spring Time Fun

Though I know some of you are tired of waiting and tired of hearing it… trust me, the series is still coming… I hope to be able to start serious work on it in the next couple of weeks. Thanks so much for your patience :)
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Wow, as much as I love Winter… Spring is, in truth, probably my favorite time of year. It is still cool enough to keep me from overheating, yet it is so beautiful as life begins anew and so many outdoor activities are once again possible. Without explaining the age-old analogy… what a beautiful picture of the Gospel!!!


The first truly BEAUTIFUL day of the year… it was truly perfect. Being as warm natured as I am, I am not one to just sit outside when warmer weather is present (work is one thing, but not leisure), yet today was so incredibly perfect I just couldn’t help it. I decided to go out in the main court area of the Seminary, read, and soak in the blessings of the day. I really don’t know how many hours I was out there, but it was so much fun. Of course I was blessed to see so many of my friends out there at different points as well. On top of enjoying my studies, today was truly a gift from the Lord in many ways. First, I am finally not only caught up with school work, but am in a position to have a little breathing room (very little as I have a big test and a paper first thing next week, but still). I hate being behind and love being ahead, so my spirits were already much higher. Second, the day itself was a blessing of being surrounded by unspeakable beauty and meditative comfort. I could not have designed a more perfect “relaxing / meditative” day if I had taken weeks to try to plan it. Thus, all I can do is relish in the goodness of my great God and Savior, Jesus Christ. He is so VERY good to us, may we be reminded of this at all times!!!

Days like today are most certainly an answer to prayers such as this one http://a-hawk.blogspot.com/2007/06/prayer-and-meditation.html

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow, Yet Onward We Grow

Herein I write yet another reflection from my life. This time a public praise of my mother, on her birthday. So, it is with a heart overflowing with love that I wish my mom a happy birthday and try, in some small way, to tell her how much she means to me.

First, let me say that I thank God for my mother. I know it would be naive to say that she is the best mother in the world, but I sincerely cannot imagine anyone better. She has always been my human anchor, a (human) rock, on whom I could depend to steady me in times of trouble and confusion. We have been through some incredibly difficult times, the nature of which some of you, but certainly not all, may understand. In these difficulties, she has always demonstrated a strength and wisdom that any leader would envy. I would love to publicly proclaim example after example, yet she is also humble and wouldn’t have it. Through all of the bad times, she has shown endless love, patience, and (again) strength.


She and I have always had a close relationship. This is partly due to the difficult times I’ve referenced and mostly to the fact that mom has always understood my strong personality (and yes, ultimately the Grace of Christ). She has always allowed me to voice my opinion and given me as much freedom as I was able to handle, yet not more so. She has always made me feel that my opinion was important and valued, yet the lines between parent and child have not been crossed. Bottom line, she has held the perfect balance of protecting me and giving me the independence “my wiring” has always desired. I stand here, in sincerity, not knowing how she has done that. I pray to God that, when it is time, I can be as good a parent and demonstrate as much wisdom and love.

In keeping with the above, she has always sensed and prepared for changes in our relationship. As any healthy relationship will, ours has constantly changed and grown. Being a mother, something I cannot begin to understand, I am sure everything within her has wanted to hold on a little longer and keep things just as they are, yet she has (always) unselfishly prepared me for each stage. This most recent trip home was no different. Mom and I both enjoy whatever time we are able to spend together, yet, we know that our relationship has and is changing, yet again.

She continually demonstrates her love and understanding in that she knows me well enough to allow me to “go on” when it’s time for change. She knows that my antsiness is not personal, but a desire to move on, in strength, realizing it is Christ’s plan for my life. In all of our lives, we pass from season to season, adapting, changing, and growing. In this particular season of my life, the Lord is preparing me for marriage. Though I do not know when that day will be, the Lord is accomplishing his work in my heart and affections (Genesis 2:24 “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh”). What this means is that my affections are naturally turning away from her, and toward the future, specifically, toward my future beloved (whomever she may be). My mom and I have talked about this for a long time; yet, recently, there has been a noticeable change, wherein theory is becoming reality. My point is that, once again, my mom is proving herself to be both a blessing and a remarkable parent by not only accepting this fact, but by continually preparing me for that day. I thank God for her unselfish love, tough as it may be!

When it is time to part we have always put on a strong face and tried to make the departure as natural as possible. To do anything else would only make parting more difficult and fight the natural order God has set. Yet even in this, is a demonstration of the love, understanding, and concern we have for each other.




Now, in closing, to speak directly to mom… Thank you for being so wonderful and so loving. Once again, I wish so much that I could write in such a way as to accurately express how much I love and respect you, yet regardless of my skill, that would prove to be an impossible task. So, I will close with that understanding, simply saying, thank you… and happy birthday!

A Tale of Two Churches

Hey guys, just a quick one this time. As I have mentioned before, I attend (when I’m in Louisville) and am a member of, 9th and O Baptist Church. Someone has created and posted a fantastic, and fair, video on U-tube. I thought I’d share the link if anyone is interested.

I have been attending Ninth and O from the very first Sunday I was in Louisville (July of 2005). I took my time and visited plenty of others before joining in October of 2005, but even while visiting other churches, I always came back to Ninth and O. There I have found a place of fellowship, refuge, encouragement, and challenge (much more about that aspect is sure to come later). I LOVE my church and my church family dearly and jealously. I have found the teaching to be among the most solid anywhere and the fellowship unrivaled. Further, I have never been in a church where I have felt more genuinely loved and cared for.

I am as involved as I am able to be, constantly trying to hold the balance of being properly vs. too involved (as I always have a tendency to do). I am the most heavily involved in the music ministry there, assisting wherever I can. My mentor and close personal friend is Jim Parsons, the Worship Pastor, and I do mean Pastor in the proper sense. There are many preachers and so-called “music ministers,” but few Pastors (John 10). If you are in Louisville, or just like solid, Bible-based sermons, check us out!



Here is Ninth and O’s webpage:

http://www.naobc.org/

Here is the video link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3RIT79avhA


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Also, lest I leave it out, I am privileged to attend Old Fort Baptist when I’m home. Due to circumstances I may or may not write about at another point (though of course I would protect identities), my mother and I had to leave the church we attended (which I still call my home-church sometimes) two weeks before I left for seminary. We had visited Old Fort before, but it was not previously the Lord’s will for us to be there. Upon leaving this previous church, I felt sure Old Fort was the one. Though I knew it was pointless for me to join with only two weeks until I left, I attended services there until it was time to go. Later after prayerful consideration, mom joined and has been there ever since.

I have, for the first time since being in Seminary, been able to spend more than just a week or two at Old Fort. In fact, I was blessed to spend the entire summer with this wonderful family. I must admit that the few times I have been home in the past, I basically hid, knowing that I was only there for a day or two (I even “missed” a few times when I was home to avoid the uncomfortable feeling). That is to my shame. To make a feeble explanation, it is very hard for me to open up to new people. Not in the sense of being bold when I need to be, getting a job done, or speaking for my Lord. I am not the slightest bit timid in these settings. But in the sense of social settings, it usually takes me a while to be comfortable and be myself (and I usually drive a few people crazy because of over-analyzing). Then, once I am comfortable, I basically stop with the over-analyzing, relax, and am able to be myself (which definitely scares people ;) I have meditated long and hard, trying to figure myself out with this. I have gone from one idea to another and I still don’t understand it, but on I digress and further off topic I go… the bottom line, is that it takes me a while to “loosen up” with new people. Thus (finally getting back to my main point), I did not think it worth the effort of “putting myself out” for literally one Sunday (or two at most) every six-months. The beauty of the body of Christ, is that no matter who you are, or where you come from, we are all IN Him, if indeed we are His. This is a lesson that I knew, but that I learned once again, at Old Fort. I was immediately taken in and treated as if I had been there all along. I have grown to love this family, and I do say family, and it is to my sinful shame that I denied myself the pleasure of getting to know them; that I denied them the burden of getting to know me; and, most importantly, that I denied Christ the honor He is due in and through my life, by seeing His children relish His presence together! It is a discredit to me, and a testimony to this church (insert Jim, mentioned above, shaking his head at me ;).

One last thing that I must mention about this church: The preaching ministry in this church is perhaps the greatest I have ever had the privilege of sitting under. I am not saying this to down-play, or discredit any of the other wonderful men of God that I’ve heard and sat under (in fact, I’ve been spoiled between NGU and Southern), but this one, at least to me, stands above all (also, lest he be lifted too high, note that I said “sat under”). I realize that a decent part of my love of this teaching has to do with it being a style that I like, but, beyond this, the messages are SOLIDLY founded on the Holy Scriptures and are delivered with the conviction, power, and passion of a true Pastor (despite using this term twice in this post, I do not use it liberally or lightly in life). The teaching ministry is a challenge to me of the type of preaching I desire to do. The messages are presented, with deep thought, yet in a manner that anyone “who has an ear” can hear. Though the wording is prayerfully and carefully chosen, it is also preached from the heart and not simply memorized, allowing for the perfect “fit” and “flex” in each of the three services. Lest I go on and on, I will simply say, I was blessed to sit under Pastor Eric this summer and plan to continue to listen online in all of the spare time we all know I will not have ;)



Here is Old Fort’s webpage:

http://www.oldfortbaptist.org/






Well, I guess so much for “just a quick one” and “just sharing a link,” but any that know me, know better than that anyway ;) All-in-all, I once-again (enough hyphens for you?), find myself so blessed, as to have to leave one blessing, in order to receive another. I must say farewell to Old Fort (for now), and hello to Ninth and O (yet again). I love you both!

Times of Transition

Well, I have about a week left of work and about a week after that of being home. My last day at work (this time :) will be this coming Friday. After that, I will take the next week to do many of the things that I’ve been intending to do, but haven’t had the time (visit friends, take some Charleston pictures, get my passport – yay!, do some reading and writing, etc).


Times of transition are always bittersweet for me. I love people and places and always feel torn when it is time to leave one place and go to another. I have had “double residency” since 2001 and routinely have to leave one life, to temporarily pick up another, only to return later. I desire to stay here, be with family, discover this new church, and continue working at a job I love and for a boss that I love (and of course, make decent money); yet, at the same time, I desire to be back in school, with my friends, and with my church family.

Now, I must here clarify, I do realize that I am in a blessed position. I do not say that I have to leave where I desire to stay, in order to go where I do not wish to go (or the inverse). No, quite the contrary; I am so blessed by Christ, that I constantly GET to go from one blessing to the other. I am truly so blessed that I’m torn between blessings.

Though I realize my torn feeling is the result of being too blessed, I truly look forward to the day when I am no longer torn between two goods, but have one good. The good I am referring to is a family and one place in which to minister. Now sure, I realize that my ministry will probably change from time to time, and I sincerely look forward to that as well, but, here, I am talking about looking forward to the day when my family, my ministry, and my source of income are no longer many hours and many miles apart. A time wherein I can be involved in my ministry and come home to family instead of an empty apartment and wherein I can have both family and friends, and not have to choose between them. Now, please don’t misunderstand me, I love my life and am quite confident that I am in the Lord’s will. He is continually teaching me contentment and I believe that I am learning this lesson (note the on-going present tense). However, contentment doesn’t necessarily mean that we don’t look forward to better days.

Even in this longing, the Spirit testifies to a deeper, and far greater, longing. I sincerely look forward to that day. That day, wherein we are no longer “double residents,” being in the flesh residents of earth, and in the Spirit, residents of Christ’s Kingdom. I look forward, with great eagerness, to that day, wherein I no longer feel torn, desiring to be with Christ, yet needing to be fruitful for my savior (Phil 1.22-24). I deeply and sincerely long for that day, when my heart is no longer breaking and torn apart over those that reject Christ; when I no longer bear the burden of the lost, but only rejoice in and with the redeemed!!! My heart cries out, desiring that day, when I no longer have to say, “come Lord Jesus, yet tarry a little while longer!”

A Prayer and Meditation

Originally posted 7:10am Friday, Nov 24, 2006 on Facebook, yet quite applicable now





Sorry... it's a very rough 1st draft, but its straight from the heart!




Father,

Send your Spirit to comfort me, in this moment of weakness
Hold me in your arms, and let me feel your presence
Calm my spirit, and still my mind
Heal my heart, as only you can


Tell me you love me, and that I am your child
Bind up my spirit, and give me your strength
Give me clarity of vision, so I can see your will
And purity of heart, to follow in obedience


Help me to seek you, more every day
Help me to love you, with all that I am
Teach me restraint Lord, as I wait on you
Help me be a servant, who loves you so


Fill me with your Spirit, as never before,
With your love, with your joy, and with your peace
So that in being filled, I overflow
And others you touch, through my life


My father I love you, and I thank you too
For using one entirely unworthy, and deserving to die
Thank you for your patience, and your tender care
For the way that you love me, and stand near by!

-Amen!


Proverbs 30:2-3 “Surely I am more stupid than any man, And I do not have the understanding of a man. Neither have I learned wisdom, Nor do I have the knowledge of the Holy One.”

I'm an addict... thank you!

Once again I stand in complete amazement as I realize (once again) what amazing and encouraging friends I am blessed of the Lord to have!!! In (and because of) this realization, I am continually humbled, literally falling on my face before God, thanking Him for placing such incredible people in my life. I am SO thankful for you all and am continually renewed by your love, your encouragement, even your simple presence. It is truly good for brothers and sisters to dwell together in unity!



The number one way I connect with people is physical touch, so for those that are willing to put up with my playing around (and allow me the delusion that you enjoy it ;), you have no idea how much I need to play this way and how much you delight my heart in this. For those that are huggers, I literally cannot express how much you mean to me. By the simple, pure act of a hug, you are ministering to my soul (in a way that nothing else can)!

For those that are not huggers or don’t play around with me, please understand that you minister to my soul as well. Just as my spiritual life will be negatively affected by a lack of physical touch (seriously folks), I cannot subsist without deep, deep conversations, and the more sober moments of life, to compliment my more zany side. Thus, no matter what particular way you minister to me, I am dependent upon you. Thanks be to Christ Jesus our Lord (my ultimate sustainer), for the way He has ordained for His body to function!!!

Though this note sincerely goes out to ALL of my friends and has been coming for some time now, I do want to include a special “thank you” to those that were here tonight (you know who you are). I enjoyed our fellowship more than you know and am so thankful that you came. I literally wanted to cry (and am now, reflecting upon it) when I looked into your eyes and saw the sincerity and depth of your encouragement and love. I am truly unworthy of such exceptional friends, brothers, and sisters!!!

This last section is going to sound really sappy / corny, but it is from the heart. I hope that you do not doubt the sincerity of this note on the whole, or this last section. I am so amazed at the fellowship and friendships that I have here, I sometimes feel as if I am in a dream and if I breathe, it will all vanish. Yet, I am so confident of the sincerity of your friendship that I know you won’t! I am literally addicted to you guys. This, is the primary reason I don’t want to leave this summer. If I’m home, I can’t get my fix!

I wish that I were skilled enough to use words that would accurately convey the depth of my love and appreciation for you all, but I am unskilled and inept in this regard. I will simply close by saying thank you for allowing me to get to know you!!!


With an overflowing heart of gratitude and love,

Aaron HawkJohn 3:30